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#7 |
living
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 3,485
Battle Record: 33-18
Accomplishments - Hall of Fame
Champed - AOWL Season 1
- Art of Writing League
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she’s smiling cheek to cheek, wide veneer cheshire
feel my eyes tether through your bed side this that pressurized, bend-her-over sex drive the entry to her treasure room, legs wide find you in the vestibule, whisper at your back side cause vigors’ just a side effect to when i imbibe if pleasures just a mental boost i take pleasure in these mental boosts every damn time liked. carnal liquor-laced lustful. these are the kind of things i remember most about even the worst relationships i've found myself involved in over the years. first couple lines were rhythmically fantastic. every touch explodes, fingers foot soldiers on a land-mine something better be boiling on the inside finger trace narcotic curves. im on a daze can’t i? concentrate on what God unfurled? my pussy. you love it when i commentate on what i deserve but you hate when i try to say that im unheard this is what i meant by that distinct double edge of the writing here. aggressive and domineering followed directly by anxiety and child-like worry. great sex does not replace understanding. communication. compatibility. not even close undulating hyper-wave has gone berserk now i’m insane cause you dont fuck the same from what i observed disliked im hard headed. my heart is soft centered loved call center worker spun into withdrawal shivers jewel spheres spawn light into these dark whispers calm flickers, palm slipping, annihilation we’d drop zippers. soft whimpers, dilating raw rhythm gorgeous you and i, condone this kaleidoscopic, eye scoping, slight hypnosis. caution warning message is sent 60mg oxytocin shower the flesh of your lips the last line of this might be my favorite from the work. isn't it all chemical anyway hypnotic dosage her butterfly journal. no reason to flutter like a field i discovered, where i trace over patterns left by previous lovers ugh. mind boggled, too. reading diaries on how they failed to conquer you chapters left blank, with nothing but a pencil and time hand drawing rainbows with watercolor pigmenting dye the arc of your back, with melted oil enzymes frozen moment in time, where we coil inside i dated a girl for a very long time who had kept a journal since she was a very young child. she had detailed all of her adolescent crushes, her daily minutia, her family history through her eyes, her few actual relationships. we would read it and laugh. she had stopped keeping a diary a couple years before we met. but i was always curious how our passages would read. we were a chapter left blank. the arched back / melted oil portion creates a beautiful slice of portraiture here. tongue ready to taste sweat that delicately falls up like summer tree leaves in the depths of this autumn kind of uninteresting until you tie it in with the next line or syrup filling places inbetween bark on a maple its wintertime now. many of us spent a lot of time outside this year. this pangs of an every-year nostalgia that surfaces right around now. comparing sweat droplets on skin to syrup on bark is actually very pretty. an extraction of effort by any means. sitting in the hilly banks swaddled in hazel how are we able? despite our armor so frigid. both thinking twice as harder liked for the idea but disliked for the pretty terrible phrasing. fragile, frosted crystallizing water budding with pheromones to visualize our partner loved. it looked like flowerbeds in a river of ice. bubbling over seas of red & rosy, slow touchings, moans buzzing, and get to know mes blanket passion. the kiss me slowlys love turns of phrase like this. moans buzzing, blanket passion, excellent. turn sound off. let me go, please enshrouded with fervor can we hear you in a forest of trees when you shout and you murmur? i kinda wish you ended it on a different note. you end with sort of a nonsense question posed philosophically. kind of felt like waxing nothing here. a declaration of lust. pensive romantic reflection. imaginative wandering. all in a distinctly powerful writer's voice. people always say they'll be back to drop some real thoughts and they never return. i hoped to break the cycle here. thanks bud
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Zack Wicks for president |
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