WEEK TWO: UNIVERSE 1-0 vs HUSH 1-0 UNIVERSE WINS VIA NO SHOW OPEN FOR FEED

Concrete · 11-24-2020, 12:24 PM

This is quite intriguing story-telling from beginning to end.
The narrative as a whole is ill. I like how you lucidly illustrated the part of
slaying the angel - both from a descriptive perspective and also the fact of instead of going for tropes such as facing an inner demon.
Also the little hints ala "The sky opened up like therapy" adds more depth and finesse to the piece, inviting the reader to speculate in clean thriller fashion.
The back and forth between delusion and reality was also cleverly done, pretty out there yet cohevise within the context of the out there story.
The characters are portayed as much as they needed here, another strong point.
Technically it's pretty much all solid, so overall this is probably the most impressive verse this round. Too bad it was no-showed.
I've seen similar writtens but the story itself feels very fresh, even if it's inspired by a classic movie.
So yeah, props here and I know what movie I'm gonna put om my rewatch list.

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11-24-2020, 12:24 PM	#8
Concrete Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2013 Location: Oslo Posts: 179 Battle Record: 5-0 Rep Power: 2158978	This is quite intriguing story-telling from beginning to end. The narrative as a whole is ill. I like how you lucidly illustrated the part of slaying the angel - both from a descriptive perspective and also the fact of instead of going for tropes such as facing an inner demon. Also the little hints ala "The sky opened up like therapy" adds more depth and finesse to the piece, inviting the reader to speculate in clean thriller fashion. The back and forth between delusion and reality was also cleverly done, pretty out there yet cohevise within the context of the out there story. The characters are portayed as much as they needed here, another strong point. Technically it's pretty much all solid, so overall this is probably the most impressive verse this round. Too bad it was no-showed. I've seen similar writtens but the story itself feels very fresh, even if it's inspired by a classic movie. So yeah, props here and I know what movie I'm gonna put om my rewatch list.