Week 1: Mr. J vs Pharaohs army MR J WINS VIA NS OPEN FOR FEED

[Inno]

AOWL Season IX


@Mr. J vs @Pharaohs Army


Verse due: Friday 13th MID Est time



Line min: 10

Max: 50


Check ins: 48 hours after thread post


Rules:http://www.netcees.org/showthread.php?t=145451


Topic:

[Mr. J]

Check

[Pharaohs Army]

Check gl

[Mr. J]

It was I who they found confusion in
Betraying all that's known, disproving them
Spirits high enveloped by the jubilant
Broke new ground by improving them.
Such ability is dangerous, tears congruence amiss
How dare one be so self centered & intuitive
Comparative to the worst of revolutionists
Mistaken for nothing more than a mere illusionist
Life is simpler by not admitting who is which
Being able to follow code rather than renew the script
Luminescent lies shine brighter than truth can get
Why change sights when such proof exists?
Who would dare think it would transmute to this?
The inability to grow, is the ability of conclusiveness
A disability brought forth by elusive sense
Betrayal in light of what changed, views of dissonance
May they collapse upon each other soon...
And their mistakes teach other buffoons
And as those flames rise & breed such aloof
It will be harder for them breathe amongst the room
And as I hang above and watch each of them consumed.
I know they will see what could have been or might be.
Now they know the future shouldn't be taken lightly.

[Pharaohs Army]

Extendo Please J will edit into this post

[Mr. J]

Go for it

[Adverse]

Mr J wins via NS

Show this man some love

[Hush]

That was a smooth read brother

[Objective]

It was I who they found confusion in
Betraying all that's known, disproving them
Spirits high enveloped by the jubilant
Broke new ground by improving them.
^Your seemingly simplistic straight forward style is always dope af and fresh to read. Good to see you here. Great intro and take on the topic, sucks you got no-showed.

Such ability is dangerous, tears congruence amiss
How dare one be so self centered & intuitive
^Well put together, haha! I don't sense no sarcasm at all!

Life is simpler by not admitting who is which
Being able to follow code rather than renew the script
^Word..!

May they collapse upon each other soon...
And their mistakes teach other buffoons
^That should be humanity's worst fear, sucks how real this is tbh

Great closure too. This was a dope piece. Easy to follow but that's the beauty of it, you use easy to follow language and pack so much meaning behind each sentence it's always a joy to read your verses. Looking forward to see what more you'll cook up in this league, great to see you back and posting! Stay up

[MMLP]

ahahaha that pic is mad! This felt like a chance to get rid of some ring rust more than anything
always been a fan of your short line, straight to the point style, easy to get into!
think it would be a good clash of styles if we battled! Loads of light word-association here made it an enjoyable piece for what it was
Keep the pen moving!

[Universe]

First of all, thank you for breaking down your vote further... makes sense and much appreciated.

Very cool verse. Your ability to carry a rhyme scheme passed the point most people are able to is impressive. Flow was great too. Just an overall easy read but with a lot of depth...

This was another piece this week that had an odd number of lines though... 23... so weird.

But yeah other than that, good work here. Loved the final bar.

[Adverse]

Liked the way you held the flow and rhyme scheme while that doesn’t usually score high for me in a topical piece it was very smoothly done and brought a lot of life to the story liked the pictures you painted and the way you layered your bars. Very good verse you and Pharaoh would have matched up well here

Favorite bit was

Such ability is dangerous, tears congruence amiss
How dare one be so self centered & intuitive
Comparative to the worst of revolutionists
Mistaken for nothing more than a mere illusionist
Life is simpler by not admitting who is which
Being able to follow code rather than renew the script

[Concrete]

It's a fine verse imo, reads smoothly with some nice tidbits as well. I get the impression that you wrote this pretty effortlessly while still maintaining quality. Also proving one doesnt need tons of rhymes to make things flow with ease. Looking forward to check more verses from you later.