Artifice(3-2) vs Symetirk(1-1) - Sym WINS

Johnny 6 feet · 07-07-2020, 07:16 PM

Artifice- Solid emotional piece, you did a lot with a short amount of bars and helped the flow along with a compound rhyme scheme, although a few lines seemed forced here and there. You gave flashes of insight into the life the woman being buried had lived and descriptive stuff with the state of mind of the narrator which were strong. I would've liked more details but what was there was good. The bar referencing the picture was probably the stand out one of the piece. Short, solid piece.

symetrik- You a fan of douglas adams? This is the kind fo story he'd write. Crazily creative peppered with short insight into the cast of characters of this weird occurrence. An almost Looney Tunes punchline at the end gets a thumbs up from me. You need to get those bars more evened out for the sake of easier reading. Rhyme scheme was solid enough. Vocab fit the description well. Good job.

As Adverse and Universe said this was a more technical piece vs a more creative one. You guys know I like my creativity.

Vote- symetrik, one of the most interesting battles of the league thus far.

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07-07-2020, 07:16 PM	#11
Johnny 6 feet Storyteller Join Date: May 2020 Posts: 446 Battle Record: 8-4 Champed - Guerrilla Writing League Rep Power: 5558447	Artifice- Solid emotional piece, you did a lot with a short amount of bars and helped the flow along with a compound rhyme scheme, although a few lines seemed forced here and there. You gave flashes of insight into the life the woman being buried had lived and descriptive stuff with the state of mind of the narrator which were strong. I would've liked more details but what was there was good. The bar referencing the picture was probably the stand out one of the piece. Short, solid piece. symetrik- You a fan of douglas adams? This is the kind fo story he'd write. Crazily creative peppered with short insight into the cast of characters of this weird occurrence. An almost Looney Tunes punchline at the end gets a thumbs up from me. You need to get those bars more evened out for the sake of easier reading. Rhyme scheme was solid enough. Vocab fit the description well. Good job. As Adverse and Universe said this was a more technical piece vs a more creative one. You guys know I like my creativity. Vote- symetrik, one of the most interesting battles of the league thus far.