NBL Season XIV Week 7 MAGA Magazine!

[Blue Bayou]

NBL Season XIV Week 7 Magazine

Week 7 Introduction

Whats good NCG’s. League is on fireeee at the moment. Quantity is close to an all-time high, there was some dope battles last week, and engagement is fantastic.

A couple disappointing no shows but hey, it happens. A lot of positive momentum heading into Week 7 so I appreciate everyone who has stepped up to help the NBL thriveee.

Notable this week is we have some veryyyb skilled writers sign in. @Resin M-I-C , @Kenny the G , @Packed Graves are all league champions across the web and bring even more firepower to the league

All that said, lets get on with it….




Week 6 Reviews – by Answer



DOUBLE NOSHOW: Headless Verseman (0 - 0) vs YesTHATLefty

I'll be honest, I don't know who the fuck YesThatLefty is, and I doubt I ever will. Maybe some old UP vet, but UP vets haven't made a habit of sticking around long. Case in point: Headless Verseman, the bald Eunuch from King's Landing who apparently was too busy getting his gash tickled in a brothel in Dorne to write bars for any of the 200 battles he set up during his time here. Both of these unwanted accidents noshowed the match-up, and it's probably to everyone's benefit since nobody wants to read another 20+ lines of garbage filler that was inspired by eminem's glory years. Noshow from both parties. Next battle, please.

((Zelph [1 - 1])) vs Seth [1 - 3]

Welp, Seth was a noshow which shouldn't be a huge surprised to anyone since he's still on suicide watch after that Barcotic battle, and to be honest, I would be to if Dicaprio pinned was the final nail in the coffin to my text legacy. He said he was busy renting out a hotel with his wife in a weekend excursion away from his kids, most likely at the advice of his shrink. We can only hope that his mental health recovers soon for his return to text. Meanwhile, Zelph just posted a nonsensical noshow verse for the easy W, so there's no much I can review on his part. Zelph wins via noshow and improves his record to 2 - 1. Time will tell if he keeps up this streak.

((Zuchiefiasco [0 - 0])) vs John Hensley

Many people were anticipating the return of John Hensley, but I have it on good authority that he's been preoccupied by a 30 day sex marathon where he jerks off Michael Buble to help fund a cure for COVID, so while I would've loved to see him show up for this battle, it's good to know he's out there doing the lord's work. Zuchie dropped a homoerotic love letter in response to this, which seems to be his "writing style" and who am I to critique when it's been proven to scare away legends like Hens and has allowed Zuchie to remain undefeated up until this point. He gets matched up with Snitching is Gangsta this week, and their styles combined may just deplete the entire national supply chain for lubrication. Zuchie wins via noshow and moves onto 1 - 0 while Hensley moves on to Michael Buble's prostate gland.

((Adverse [2 - 2])) vs Defiant [2 - 3]



Defiant was a noshow in week 5 against Answer. He checked in for the battle, was granted an extension, then apparently checked out mentally because he never dropped, giving Adverse an easy path to the noshow W. That being said, I haven't seen any evidence that Defiant could have put up much of a fight against Ad, who had a solid WiFi bar and Def Row line that were both highlights of his verse. Adverse continues his win streak and improves his record to 3 - 2 while defiant continues to be some random name that people almost recognize from somewhere. Adverse wins via noshow.

((Ryno [1 - 1])) vs Cred [1 - 1]



Ryno comes off of a loss to Bomb Bard last week and hoped to redeem himself this week against Cred. Cred returns to the league, after having signed out following a noshow loss to Defiant in week 3. Unfortunately, that was the same story this week as Ryno dropped 16 lines and Cred noshowed again. Unfortunately, Ryno's verse got heavily slept on by way of feedback, but he had some solid punches with his "Us" bar and porterhouse concept. Ryno takes this W by noshow and improves to 2 - 1.

Coop [0 - 0] vs ((Snitching is Gangsta [3 - 1]))



Coop seemed to make waves in the wrong way with his voting style and even though many may not agree with his opinions, he contributed a lot by voting on pretty much every battle this week and I respect that. Plus I've always wanted to know what it would look like if Tugg Speedman going full tard as Simple Jack tried to vote on a text battle. Coop was also one of the first to drop a verse this week, and I believe this was the first battle to be opened for votes, so props to both these guys for dropping their verses quickly. Coop had a funny tiktok bar and some snitch nameplays that landed as jabs while Snitch opened up with a strong "we've never heard of you" diss and stayed slightly more consistent with solid jabs after that. I think ultimately his opener edged him the W here. Snitching defeats Coop with 6 votes to 1.

((Plot [0 - 2])) vs Sinacog [0 - 4]



Plot returns to the league after suffering a noshow loss in week 1 and a loss to Seth in week 2 to square off against the 0 - 4 Sinacog, the Gillberg of the league. Sin's strongest punch was likely his "You're like a rushed movie, you're plot will suck" (verbatim, grammar errors included) which simply wasn't enough to defeat Plot, who nearly posted a 2 line verse that might've given Sin his first win of the season. However, he dropped an official verse - the strongest of which is possibly his Yoga/Downward Dog bar, but he undoubtedly did more than enough to secure a comfortable win as he wins the battle 6 - 0.

Aura [3 - 1] vs ((Inf [3 - 1]))



Inf has arguably had the toughest schedule in the NBL to date. He returns to the league after a 1 week hiatus following his title match loss to Cashius in week 4. Prior to that, he had picked up wins over two heavyweights, Allen Knight and Orc. He competes against Aura, who is coming off of a loss to Letterman in the #1 contendership match last week. Aura came out the gate swinging with some considerable hits from his Miata and Demagnetizer bars, but ultimately he just got outlasted by INF who imo had LOTB with his SquareSpace bar and a solid crossfit bar. I thought this battle was a little closer than the votes show, but INF manages to take a convincing win with a 5 - 0 lead over his opponent and finds himself back in contention for the title.

((FGR [3 - 2])) vs Inno [3 - 2]



Inno comes off a noshow loss to Destro last week to battle FGR, who has been on a win streak as of late. FGR dropped a remarkably consistent verse starting off with a strong "mooning" bar based off an Inno quote and a few decent nameflips. Inno's highlight was clowning his opponent, stating "you literally look like a 30 year old version of sloth". However, sloth won this one out with a more consistent verse and seemed to take the win comfortably. FGR is victorious with a 5 - 0 vote lead.

((Slecht [1 - 4])) vs Mac [0 - 0]



I'm not quite sure who Mac is or where he's from, but his account has been around since 2013 and he makes his NBL debut (and I believe his NC Battling debut?) against Slecht, who ended his 0 - 4 dry spell last week and picked up his first victory in a battle against Sinacog. Mac came out with a funny "you look like a skunk fucked a mad cow and gave birth to your mother" bar and a couple jabs here and there, but ultimately got outlasted by Slecht, who I think brought a lot of unique concepts to the table, many of which were nameflips - including his Craig Mac bar and a Mac/make up your mind bar. The voters ultimately favored Slecht's verse, who won this battle 6 - 1.

((Bomb Bard [2 - 1])) vs Wanderer [2 - 1]



Wanderer looks to regain momentum after having his win streak cut short by Flow last week, while Bomb Bard looks to improve his own streak to 3 wins. Bard struck with LOTB imo with his roundabout bar and solid hits with his overflow and lightwand concepts. Wand fought back with some decent concepts of his own, his hopscotch bar and Mick Jagger/Stones throwaway line were both respectable blows. I think Wand put up a tougher fight than the votes show, but Bard ultimately took the W without much friction as he secured a 6 - 0 victory.

((Answer [2 - 0])) vs Barcotic [2 - 1]



Answer comes off back-to-back Noshow to battle against Barcotic, who defeated Seth last week in a much anticipated grudge match. I'm not going to review my own verse for obvious reasons, but Barc came with an incredibly compact and well-formulated verse. His Hotbed for talent and Financer bars were two of the highlights, along with a number of other strong bars. Ultimately, the voters leaned toward Answer, who wins this one 7 - 0 and improves his record to 3 - 0, finding himself in a contendership match for the title in week 7.

((Orc [1 - 2])) vs UserName [0 - 0]



Orc has been absent from the league since his week 3 noshow loss to Destroyer. He returns to battle UserName, who I believe is another UP head making his site debut in the NBL. This was a picture battle, and an entertaining one at that. I'd say this is a strong contender for my pick for BOTW. Both sides came with a lot of jokes, Orc landed some strong blows with his "Fat orange sweater" bar which was LOTB for me, and came with a number of other fat disses, claiming UserName looks like seth if he ever lost to another Barcotic verse. UserName responded in kind, tearing apart Orc's neck length and hairline, some higlights include "you have a neck like the topographical map of Colorado" and his Dirty Sanchez bar. At the end of the day, Orc proved victorious, receiving 8 votes to none. Orc improves his record to 2 - 2 and UserName will look to redeem himself next week.

#1 Contendership Match Destroyer [4 - 1] vs ((Flow [3 - 1]))



Flow, coming off a win over Wanderer in week 5 squares up against Destro, who up to this point has only lost to the reigning champion. These two squared off to determine who will get a shot at the title next week. Des dropped a backhand diss to Lars that didn't get a ton of love, but I thought it was a strong punch, along with his Dunbar and Flow chart bars which were also solid hits. Flow took a lot of shots at Destroyer's age, the strongest of which was LOTB imo "Helped invent the wheel n still never got his head around fire concepts" as well as a solid jab referencing ouch and a cinderella bar which was a fire concept. Overall, I would've liked to see this get more votes because in my eyes this was a somewhat close battle, but Flow took the win convincingly with 3 votes to none.

NBL Championship Match ((Neighbor [4 - 0])) vs Letterman [4 - 1]



Neighbor continues to be undefeated in the NBL this season, after having stripped Cashius of the title last week and makes his first official title defense against Letterman, who's coming into the battle with a 2-win streak and his only loss in the league so far has been to Cashius. While I don't think Neighbor had any bars as strong as his Capital One bar against Cashius last week, I think he outperformed his verse last week by way of sheer consistency - nearly every bar was a strong punch, from his telegraph and full clip mag bars to his simpson Burns unit bar. Letterman put on a respectable showing, with his crosswalk punch and hacking his center concept, but ultimately it wasn't enough to compete with Neighbor. Winning the battle 7 - 0, improving his undefeated streak to 5 wins and 0 losses, the victory, AND STILL NBL Champion is Neighbor.




Week 6 Verse of the Week – by Blue Bayou


A lot of dope verses this week, but Orc dropped a fire pic verse against UserName and takes this VOTW hands down. Props to the Orcster! @Orc


ORC's Verse



Who bars stopping Burds?

A large sloppy nerd on a heart-stopping splurge!?
My guyyy. You look like Seth if he ever lost to another Barcotic verse
A 285lb ginger guy that can barely run
Knew I’d see an Ugly Orange Sweater. I didn’t think you’d be wearing one
Heavyset Hipster is oneee helluva look, bud
That Muscle ain’t Relaxed. It’s wearing a Kimono & getting a Foot Rub
This massive blob’s done. He had a traaagic prom run
No girls grabbed his johnson.. rap name shoulda been no-Action Bronson
You CANT see me. Fuck a big Blind kid
Rocking frames so damn Thickkk they’d be at home in a 6ix9ine vid
A pale Ginger slob whos weights certainly gaining
This nerd is amazing. You look like you get Sunburn when it’s Raining
PLEASE man, listen. Don’t eat that biscuit!
2metre Griffin. Waistband COVID friendly how it Keep that Distance
A Gatekeeper for text. My style totalllly godly
If you Hold the Door too it’s because Bran Stark took over ya body



Week 6 Battle of the Week – by Blue Bayou


Champ match was pretty dope. Answer vs. Barc warranted consideration, honestly there was a bunch of good battles. But Orc vs. User takes the cake. Very dope angles from both sides made for a very enjoyable read. User did very well with the pic IMO and despite the L, made a great first impression on NC's.


ORC's Verse



Who bars stopping Burds?

A large sloppy nerd on a heart-stopping splurge!?
My guyyy. You look like Seth if he ever lost to another Barcotic verse
A 285lb ginger guy that can barely run
Knew I’d see an Ugly Orange Sweater. I didn’t think you’d be wearing one
Heavyset Hipster is oneee helluva look, bud
That Muscle ain’t Relaxed. It’s wearing a Kimono & getting a Foot Rub
This massive blob’s done. He had a traaagic prom run
No girls grabbed his johnson.. rap name shoulda been no-Action Bronson
You CANT see me. Fuck a big Blind kid
Rocking frames so damn Thickkk they’d be at home in a 6ix9ine vid
A pale Ginger slob whos weights certainly gaining
This nerd is amazing. You look like you get Sunburn when it’s Raining
PLEASE man, listen. Don’t eat that biscuit!
2metre Griffin. Waistband COVID friendly how it Keep that Distance
A Gatekeeper for text. My style totalllly godly
If you Hold the Door too it’s because Bran Stark took over ya body




UserName's Verse






I think I’m quitting this league; I just don’t have the time y’all
To diss a guy’s hair, that looks like someone glued drapes over drywall
I bet you take a pause to swallow
It’s all rocky when you have a neck like the topographical map of Colorado
You’re a stealthy guy, I bet you do a ton of moving in silence
With a neck so long, his special skill is tying his shoes with his eyelids
I bet you rock jeans with a flare cut, I’m not saying I care, but…
I definitely can’t call any man straight who rocks handlebars as a haircut
And that ‘Stache… Jesus, I know you and Blue messaged for hours
But switch it up, man… I already battled two Dirty Sanchez’s at Prowlers
neck is muscular as fuck, like you couldn't stop at first
looks like you held your breath, and haven't stopped since birth
We're engaged in battle, but I don't even feel like dissin' his pics
Our war pales in comparison to the one he's had with his barber... since he was six
If there’s A Land Before Time, then your neck’s the type to beat me
But Instead it looks like it craves adventures with Cera, Ducky, Spike and Petrie

Congrats to @Orc & @UserName


Week 6 Pic Roast Winner – by Blue Bayou


Honestly guys all verses were enjoyable for the most part. Everyone had at least a few jokes bars that hit. A lot of different styles too so it was a bit difficult picking a winner. I read everyone’s posts twice and I’m giving it to Orc. He had a great mix of comedy, good personals and fresh concepts. Props to all that contributed….You all did great and made for enjoyable reads. Props to @Orc. Big week for The Irishman


Some1 lieeeed to me. Mr “used to b dope” is quite the geek.
That eye ain’t Lazy. It’s got a terrible attitude & Calls in sick twice a week.
&&& you’ll NEVER convince me this man is clever
Ya grl wanted flowers & u on hand, forever
... You went & got a tattoo of Flowers on your Hand forever.
Picture the scene: Grip on UPN hating with old vets.
Blues vote made him take a Left Turn. Now his Nose is staging a protest.
Yeeeshh— I feel for his son & daughter.
Went from Showered with praise to 38yr old addict with no Running Water.
Well... Grips still alive & that’s honestly something.
No surprise he’s Grubby as hellll cuz any1 thinking he still got it is Bugging.
All the social skills of Elon Musk + the health issues Deon does.
ya whole style is beyond dunce witha beanie that says *listened to Kings of Leon once*.


Kungfugrip Roast Winner – Orc.




Week 7 Predictions – by FGR





•eVad vs resin mic•
I don't know either of these guys... Evad is a alias of someone..just don't know who... I know resin been doing this for a while..I believe i remember reading his shit back in the day and it was good.. not sure when his last battle was so he might have alot of rust to shake off..from what I remember and his accomps I think he will take this unless evad is the alias of someone dope. 60/40 RESIN

•Adverse vs aura•
Aura aka pleth is a good battler.. on rb dude champs shit and comes with creative shit.. last week I thought he was a little to forced with some of his w/p and that's not like him... He needs to get back to the creative concepts that are worded to hit.. adverse has good ideas but I think how he words his shit sometimes fucks him over..he will take a good idea and turn it into a ok one with the wrong wording... But dude can def have a bar or two that hit.. if pleth sleeps on him n post bars like last week I can see adverse taking this..but if pleth brings his norm I got him taking this thing easy... 75/25 PLETH

•Username vs plot•
This should be a close one... Plot is hot and cold with me... Sometimes I read his shit n I'm like "yeah that hit" then other time I'm like wtf is this...idk if it's a no time keystyle type of thing but he need to take his time and write the punches we know he can write... The first time I seen user was last week in his pic battle vs orc which he lost in... But it was close and he did have punches..if plot can take his time writing and add that sting on them punches this will be neck n neck..but I got user taking this in a close match. USER 55/45

•INF vs answer• [contender match]
This is my guess for BOTW.. both these dudes bring heat. Def a hard battle to predict... Both them seem even to me skillwise...but since I have to pick I think answer will take this just barely on some 5-4 shit.. forbfor more direct with his hits 55/45 ANSWER

•Coop vs Kenny the g•

I remember a few Kenny battles from like 10 years ago I don't think dude has done anything since... But from what I remember he was nice definitely might have rust to shake though...Coop is still shaking rust himself.. he just came back to rb and only hard a few battles before coming here... He needs to work on make his punches more harsh.. I think Kenny will take this tho if he even shows. KENNY 60/40


•Bomb bars vs Allen K•
should be a good battle ...bomb is sometimes a hit or miss and I think it's purely due to not having the time n just writing something quick. If Allen shows up I think he'll take it with creativity and harsher word. ALLEN 65/35

•Enbombz vs Mac•
I seen Macs battle last week and he's got alot of work to do.. needs to sharping them punches up and make them connect harder... I remember the name Enbombz but not a verse from him..so this could go anyway for me..but if en can come halfway decent he should take this.. ENBOMB 60/40

•Sinacog vs Sharp•
Well sharps got his work cut out for him here... Cog is somewhat of a legend around here and anywhere he's registered ...dude will drop a hot 16 134seconds after the battles set up... Sharp comes creative with good wording but I don't think that's gonna help him here..who knows .. COG 100/0

•Zelph vs rhyno•
ryno aka bash has been iffy lately... 6 months ago he was champing LLL on rb and dropping good punches now he's kind of fizzled out.. he is still someone u don't wanna sleep on but I just feel he's not fully committed right now... Zelph will drop a few gun bars..maybe a recycled line or two and look for the DQ any chance he can... He can come with cool punches but rather fuck around then battle serious.. ryno should take this if he trys
. RYNO 60/40

•Neighbor vs flow• [Champ match]
This should be a another good one.. flow can bring fire punches but I do feel like he hasn't been dropping hard shit the last couple battles..he needs to get back to a few weeks ago and put together a dope verse.... Cuz neigh is a prob.. current champ and it's for good reason..dude got dope punches with a crisp wording.. tight battle right here but winner? . NEIGH 60/40

•Wanderer vs Barcotic•
Wanderer is decent..I think he's gotta make the ideas he's got a little stronger n word them to hit harder...decent battler.... He better take his time and come dope this week cuz barc can drop drop bars... Some times he gets a little to fancy n it doesn't work for him but most the times he's swinging... Wand better step it up this week if he doesn't wanna get blown out... BARC 80/20

•Inno vs orc•
inno can put together a good punch I think his problem is consistently doing it thru out his verse.. he's good for decent punchs and a few misses.. I think if he puts more time into it he can change that and may have a chance here .. orc has been doing this shit for a min...and has been doing it well... I don't think he's writing to his full potential right now but that doesn't mean he won't trash u in a battle... His concepts n wording is crisp...dude knows how to make a punch hit...should be a fun read.. but I got ....ORC 70/30

•Incredible vs Slecht•
Slecht been off his game lately... On rb he was champing punch leagues and putting together some creative shit.. lately he's been dropping shit that is full of jabs or misses..nothing standing out lately as hard..dude needs to step it up n fast..cuz I know he got fire..dude just misplaced it...incred is cool... Got good ideas I just think how he delivers them isñt the hardest way..this should be close af ..could go either way but I can see incred sneaking away w it . INCRED 55/45

•Zuchie vs Snitchin•
No clue who zuch is...the only shit I seen was that homo riddled no show verse last week... N I can't judge off that... Snitch is good.. wording was cool last week ...he had misses n hits nsn he can put shit together...I think he'll take this . SNITCH. 60/40

•Letterman vs FGR•

BY NEIGHBOR

The league’s stacked right now, which makes me harder than @Barcotic at an aquarium or @Blue Bayou in the artisan cheese aisle at Whole Foods. W/ all the nasty matches we have this week, I’m looking forward to this one the most & have it as a sleeper for BOTW. Letterman is a proven threat coming off a very close Champ Match w/ yours truly, while FGR has been climbing the ranks & beating his opponents handily after a minor setback in Week 3. Both of these guys have nasty wordplay & are gun bar heavy, which are two glorious attributes & make for a really interesting match up. I’d give the slight edge to Letter as he’ll probably be hungry to get back to the top of the Rankings, but wouldn’t expect FGR to slack at all here & wont be surprised if he pulls the upset

Letterman 60/40


•packed graves vs top iLL drag•
Nice to see graves back... We have battled a few times on rb in some leagues and I can tell you dude got bars... I wouldn't say he's unstoppable but he can def champ some shit... I don't thing he's battled in a min so there might be rust to shake..or maybe he will write like he never left... I never seen Top drag battle so I can't tell you about that I will say tho I peeped a open mic of his and it was mild.. not sure if it was just a quick written but it didn't make me think he was good ..who knows tho..maybe battling is his shit...but I doubt it... I got packed taking this....70/30 PACKED


Outro

@Answer the format is awesome and those are GREAT reviews, thanks again for steppign up and doing such a great job. @FGR thanks for the timely predictions, and for your contribution. @Neighbor i see you champ, thank you.


Have a great week guys. Write dope and vote. For the Culture.

Only 4 weeks until PLAYOFFS. Get those fucking wins boys.

Love yall im gone !

[Barcotic]

I knew orc was winning that roast and I only read his verse lolll

I was like yup, not wasting my time. Moving on..
Took all the dope angles right away lol

Cool mag
Check this mark was LOTB tho w/ sod off. Financer was filler
&& that was not a dope Neigh verse

[Blue Bayou]

I really enjoyed the Roast. A lot of guys had dope bars

[Zaddy]

Thanks for the magazine

[Allen Knight]

Fire, props yah'll.

[Inno]

Lol@sloth ended up winning great mag guys this was a dope read like always

[Neighbor]

Originally Posted by Barcotic

I knew orc was winning that roast and I only read his verse lolll

I was like yup, not wasting my time. Moving on..
Took all the dope angles right away lol

Cool mag
Check this mark was LOTB tho w/ sod off. Financer was filler
&& that was not a dope Neigh verse

That hurts me all the way down to my plums

Yeah, @Orc’s verse fucking leaned me.. there were so many fire drops in that Roast, though; good looks to everyone who participated

Shoutout @Answer @FGR @Blue Bayou.. you 3 killed it this week, especially Answer w/ those Reviews, man

Looking forward to another solid week

[Barcotic]

Originally Posted by Neighbor

That hurts me all the way down to my plums

Yeah, @Orc’s verse fucking leaned me.. there were so many fire drops in that Roast, though; good looks to everyone who participated

Shoutout @Answer @FGR @Blue Bayou.. you 3 killed it this week, especially Answer w/ those Reviews, man

Looking forward to another solid week

You're better than it, that's all
Minus a cpl bangers

[White LGI]

Good job

[Packed Graves]

No prediction on my battle?

Dope read tho

[FGR]

Originally Posted by Packed Graves

No prediction on my battle?

Dope read tho

My bad bro..not sure how I missed urs

[Packed Graves]

Originally Posted by FGR

My bad bro..not sure how I missed urs

Add the late prediction in for ya boy lol

[Neighbor]

Originally Posted by Barcotic

You're better than it, that's all
Minus a cpl bangers

<3

I agree, though.. it was pretty lackluster

Wait for this week’s; it’ll knock your socks off

[FGR]

Originally Posted by Packed Graves

Add the late prediction in for ya boy lol

I got u lol... I sent it to blue... He will edit it in

[Adverse]

Dope mag y’all thanks for the effort! @FGR I’m hoping to prove your prediction wrong this week, I respect your opinion but I think I’m just now getting back into lyrical shape. So let’s get this week underway

[FGR]

Originally Posted by Adverse

Dope mag y’all thanks for the effort! @FGR I’m hoping to prove your prediction wrong this week, I respect your opinion but I think I’m just now getting back into lyrical shape. So let’s get this week underway

I hope to see it buddy.. good luck

[Packed Graves]

Originally Posted by FGR

I got u lol... I sent it to blue... He will edit it in

God tier

[Orc]

Thanks for the love fellas

[Bomb Bard]

Nice work fellas

[Destroyer]

I knew barcotic knew who won that roast, man
I saw him looking at the thread and then not post so I figured he must have read it, clocked the winner, and then decided it wasn’t worth his time as most people hate vote him anyway at this biased site which frowns on shark tattoos.