WEEK 4: Champ match: Clutbuck vs Adverse - CLUT WINS 5-3

[Adverse]

Intergalactic itinerancy, trekking through asteroid fields
Wiping descending droplets of Jupiter from these spacecraft windshields
Pressing my cheek against the freezing glass just to get a little closer
Brushing my face against the bursting hues of the illustrious supernovas
Sometimes I shout the loudest i can, ask the stars if they hear me
The absolute silence of space teeters between peaceful and eerie
I've grown tired of the monotonous humming of this giant, flying fortress
Home to me and a few million others on a mission of infallible importance
Ask people who we are, "alien invaders!" is what they'll say
We come to prosperous places just to decimate leaving a wasteland plagued with craters in our wake
We hit the ground running, impatiently we prey
Attaching ourselves like leeches until there's nothing draining from the veins
Conniving kind of creatures, masters of infiltration and fronts
Friendly faces that'll be picking our teeth with the bones of your civilization in months
Gluttonous by nature, no one is spared in our way
Repainting lush forest greenery the browns and greys of barren decay
Carnivorous scavengers, surgically picking every piece from the corpses
Leave into orbit, find our next home, ping in the coordinates
Rinse and repeat, it's been decades of singing this chorus
I hardly think about the desolation we were causing, there was no reason before this..

But tonight I stare into the heart of this vast black universe n
It feels like a caricature of my soul all the way down to the hints of bruised blue bleeding to the surface
As I drift to sleep, I find myself floating in a shining sea of darkness
Paralyzed as my memories play by as a fleeting stream of conscious
I see it all, the plants and beasts we've eaten, the scenery we've abolished
What we've done finally sinking in, like Eve eating fruit of the tree of knowledge
Finally allowed to bow my head to my reflection, but what i see it looks demonic!
I wake up screaming - then i pause - to see groups of people speeding towards the cockpit…
What could make a pack of ravenous savages break out into unfathomable panic?
I understand once I climb through the massive traffic and see it staring back through the glass - The galaxy's last inhabitable planet


"In pushing other species to extinction, humanity is busy sawing off the limb on which it is perched." - Paul Ehrlich

[Universe]

Champ match! For all the marbles... looking forward to this.

Clutbuck - Well this was unexpected lol. I didnt know what you were going to do with this topic but I couldnt have predicted this... and I actually dont mind it. It seems you took the topic literally and at face value (which is actually preferable to what you did last week) and I enjoyed reading all those facts about the moon's density and rocket propulsion etc... It was like a rocket scientist speaking to their child and forgetting to dumb things down lol. In fact, that's probably EXACTLY what this was haha...

I liked this section here near the end:

"See space is a vacuum, but not the kind your mother uses,
you’ll find it’s sucked your tool kit to beyond by the time you’ve put the screws in.
Ever tried constructing units in interplanetary spaces?
The microgravity you’re faced with means simple tasks can take you ages"

There were some negatives though technically... some awkward wording here and there (maybe it's just how I read it though). I still got your point but more editing would have cleaned this up nicely. Overall though, I enjoyed this, Lars. Good work.

Adverse - Another banger here from Mr. Adverse, but not without it's minor flaws. First off, the way you describe things is tantamount to watching a movie. It's so vivid... I can picture what you're getting across without any effort. This is the mark of a good writer. Some of these lines were just butter to read, my friend... so smooth.

My favorite section:

"Gluttonous by nature, no one is spared in our*way
Repainting lush forest greenery the browns and greys of barren decay
Carnivorous scavengers, surgically picking every piece from the corpses
Leave into orbit, find our next home, ping in the coordinates
Rinse and repeat, it's been decades of singing this chorus*
I hardly think about the desolation we were causing, there was no reason before this.."

Like God damnit man! This was just a beautifully crafted few bars here that really drew me in. That said, as good as your lines were, I also felt some were ruined by an overly long flow at points. Like every line was solid, but some just felt a little bloated for my taste. Maybe a little too descriptive... whatever it was, the flow just seemed long-winded at times.

Oh and I really liked your ending with the crash landing... you made Eartth seem like an alien planet after spending some time with our alien friend, bravo. And cool quote too to finish things off. (Also you mentioned my name in your verse so you get bonus points lol jk)

Great battle guys. Worthy of a champ match for sure. I gotta go with what I predicted from the beginning though... And New...

Vote - Adverse

[Pharaohs Army]

Clutbuck
So I'm impressed by the way this was executed. And I am a bit biased because I also like to take the literal route sometimes with a pic and get technical. (I can't do it like this, but, you knowwhatimean)
Flowed well and good technical aspects of the rhyming.
Read Clutbuck's first and knew it would take a great great verse to top it, just because I enjoyed the angle.
Couldn't help but read the votes before this and I agree that waste fuel/ space suit is a bit of a stretch. I'll ding you for it but not too heavily

Adverse
Also flowed well and good rhyming.
This sucks cuz against most other verses you'd probably win easily. I hate to say it but it truly comes down to "personal preference".
Really enjoyed the end of your first stanza, both technically and content-wise.

Originally Posted by Adverse

Conniving kind of creatures, masters of infiltration and fronts
Friendly faces that'll be picking our teeth with the bones of your civilization in months
Gluttonous by nature, no one is spared in our way
Repainting lush forest greenery the browns and greys of barren decay
Carnivorous scavengers, surgically picking every piece from the corpses
Leave into orbit, find our next home, ping in the coordinates
Rinse and repeat, it's been decades of singing this chorus
I hardly think about the desolation we were causing, there was no reason before this..

dope

But not enough to take it here, sorry. Just liked Clut's better as a whole and the smartass angle.

V Clutbuck