GWL WK 2: Inno vs Dead Man (DEADMAN WINS)

Adverse · 03-31-2020, 09:02 AM

This was a battle of topical titans to be honest, and i loved the imagery from both and iy paired well with my morning coffee as dawn was just barely breaking, all made for an incredible read

Inno - I loved how vivid your imagery was, it really brought the dreariness of the picture to life, your short lines didn't feel like they were taking anything away from the piece, no content was lost in my eyes it just made it more engaging and faster paced which i enjoyed the rapid fire pictures coming at me. It was a dope piece and i think this part stuck out to me most

With finger tips for a nose
I touch the aromas of the day
The breeze dancing along my hair line
Tingling the roots until my brain waltz'

Just an amazing couple bars, really liked that shit

dead man - Your story had a personal spin to it that i really enjoyed, it was a lot more relatable and still had a good connection with your topic, i felt much of the same feelings as i did with Inno's piece, you brought the darkness and everything to life, loved the tidbits of nostalgia here too, they stood on their own very well

i learned everything there. i miss my desk where we carved
all our names in x-acto like a letter to god
forever a bond from adolescence to uncertain beyonds
left and never returned. but it was nobody's fault
now i'm outside
recalling all of that while wondering who's
moving underneath the light inside of that room
breathing in my phantoms
leasing monthly a tomb
where i lived and died so many nights escaping from view.

This was wonderful. I felt all of that right to the heart. It just made me feel lonely, took me back to my own room of my adolescence and just really brought so many emotions back so props on that.

Overall guys i wish i didn't have to pick just one of you but alas that is the law of the land so i think I'm leaning towards deadman as his story had a more personal connection in my eyes, invoked a lot more emotion and was just a more complete piece. Still loved Inno's piece here, so deadman wins

V/deadman

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03-31-2020, 09:02 AM	#8
Adverse low tide in serotonin bay Join Date: Jul 2013 Posts: 2,752 Battle Record: 37-28 Champed - GWL Picture Challenge - Guerrilla Writing League - Black August II Rep Power: 15446146	This was a battle of topical titans to be honest, and i loved the imagery from both and iy paired well with my morning coffee as dawn was just barely breaking, all made for an incredible read Inno - I loved how vivid your imagery was, it really brought the dreariness of the picture to life, your short lines didn't feel like they were taking anything away from the piece, no content was lost in my eyes it just made it more engaging and faster paced which i enjoyed the rapid fire pictures coming at me. It was a dope piece and i think this part stuck out to me most With finger tips for a nose I touch the aromas of the day The breeze dancing along my hair line Tingling the roots until my brain waltz' Just an amazing couple bars, really liked that shit dead man - Your story had a personal spin to it that i really enjoyed, it was a lot more relatable and still had a good connection with your topic, i felt much of the same feelings as i did with Inno's piece, you brought the darkness and everything to life, loved the tidbits of nostalgia here too, they stood on their own very well i learned everything there. i miss my desk where we carved all our names in x-acto like a letter to god forever a bond from adolescence to uncertain beyonds left and never returned. but it was nobody's fault now i'm outside recalling all of that while wondering who's moving underneath the light inside of that room breathing in my phantoms leasing monthly a tomb where i lived and died so many nights escaping from view. This was wonderful. I felt all of that right to the heart. It just made me feel lonely, took me back to my own room of my adolescence and just really brought so many emotions back so props on that. Overall guys i wish i didn't have to pick just one of you but alas that is the law of the land so i think I'm leaning towards deadman as his story had a more personal connection in my eyes, invoked a lot more emotion and was just a more complete piece. Still loved Inno's piece here, so deadman wins V/deadman