There's no simulating love

Nice · 01-20-2013, 03:37 PM

this was cool, this is where i realized where you two were going with this lol

Never being able to touch each other with our sexual occults
Intellectual; we talk about the past, present and the future
Everybody wonders why I spend every second on computers
Calling me a loser because I never see a ray of sunshine
I dwell in the bitter pits of darkness but my days are sublime

your transitions were on point, flow control stood out a few sneaky metaphors thrown in, kudo's

Brodey, hi love

Never being able to touch each other with our sexual occults
Intellectual; we talk about the past, present and the future
Everybody wonders why I spend every second on computers
Calling me a loser because I never see a ray of sunshine
I dwell in the bitter pits of darkness but my days are sublime

this part made me "oh dayum" lol.. i dont get a chance to read too much from you but when i do im always pretty impressed. you have a nice structure which is always easy to read, like hella layed back. props

sane im not gunna quote anything from your last verse because it was my favorite and i really didnt see any flaws. thi was a nice collab, you 2 meshed well on this. lookin forward to more from both of you. peace

p.s. thanks for feedin my piece sane

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01-20-2013, 03:37 PM	#2
Nice Member Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 93 Rep Power: 0	this was cool, this is where i realized where you two were going with this lol Never being able to touch each other with our sexual occults Intellectual; we talk about the past, present and the future Everybody wonders why I spend every second on computers Calling me a loser because I never see a ray of sunshine I dwell in the bitter pits of darkness but my days are sublime your transitions were on point, flow control stood out a few sneaky metaphors thrown in, kudo's Brodey, hi love Never being able to touch each other with our sexual occults Intellectual; we talk about the past, present and the future Everybody wonders why I spend every second on computers Calling me a loser because I never see a ray of sunshine I dwell in the bitter pits of darkness but my days are sublime this part made me "oh dayum" lol.. i dont get a chance to read too much from you but when i do im always pretty impressed. you have a nice structure which is always easy to read, like hella layed back. props sane im not gunna quote anything from your last verse because it was my favorite and i really didnt see any flaws. thi was a nice collab, you 2 meshed well on this. lookin forward to more from both of you. peace p.s. thanks for feedin my piece sane