the infinitesimal moment

[ACTIVATE SELF]

Your cadence, tempo and pacing were all on point. Your tone of voice was perfectly suited for ....uhmmm ... yeah...the spoken word like atmosphere you where in and going for. However, I think when it comes to truly embodying the words you speak you have to be more expressive with you emotions and add more dramatics to your performance in order for your audience to truly connect with the passion you set out to display. Because after a while the set becomes daunting and monotonous. Like listening to an audio book. Also, I don't think your verse had an underlying theme of unification. The fragmented imagery was beautiful. The random perspectives were insightful. But ultimately came across as the scattered jewels of a much larger, but seemingly hidden treasure chest. What this piece lacked in my opinion was relevance. What did it all add up to? What grounded the piece to anything tangible? It just seemed very free flowing and whimsical in overall meaning. With that said, I will listen again. I'm sure when I do things will become clearer. And I'll update my opinion based on the things that I uncover. However, I will say this, the writing in and of itself (independent of a topic) was exceptional and I commend you on going 5 minutes uncut and error free. A feat in its own right.