Eyegasms

Saint · 02-08-2018, 02:03 AM

Desenut§ - "Influential Mom"

Topic: choose someone you could honestly say influences you, bad or good, explain why he/she is so important to your life and the decisions you make, be creative

She gave me life... birthed my self worth..
suckled me into silence and cured my welped hurts..
Steered me from the violence of words that bent verbs..
into action items to scurge my flesh worse..
than the hottest fires of hells darkest circles..
though she ran with a clan whose intent was to hurt those..
who might be weaker.. though in reality..
thier co-dependency.. was thier weakness in relief..
let me tell a tale.. of a mother and her love..
no better yet..
I'll tell a tale.. of a mother and her son..

Mom and Dad.. were both bad.. a product of the sixties..
with the tendencies of hippies.. and the habbits of addicting..
to any substance that's within reach.. from weed to heroine..
and so they'd burrow in.. to the cycles of thier sin..
always constant arguments.. remembered at the age of 3..
Dad would hit mom.. till I would intercede..
too young to really speak.. but my grief was common place..
and easy for them to read.. as it was written on my face..
the tear stained rivlets delved with grace.. through the dirt upon my cheeks..
leaving in stained relief.. what I couldn't really speak..
it'd stop them dead into thier heat.. as they raced towards a finish..
that would involve bruises left for weeks.. and swollen spoken sentence..
but this isn't what has been missed.. or impactfull in my life..
It really just set the stage.. for the next place filled with stryfe..
Mom eventually took flight.. and escaped with proginy..
to the coast and ocean shores.. to the north of San Jose..
Yes we got away.. but really nothing changed..
as mom was still stuck in the game.. neglecting me for her to gain..
another release from the pain.. a bag of weed... speed.. or best coke..
and quickly she took the leap.. to vein'd extacty.. instead of nose..
Addiction gained a tighter hold.. as I grew old enough to fathom..
Momma rarely spoke the truth.. too confused by cokes orgasm..
She refused to face her phantoms.. and that was passed straight on to me..
As I took my claimed birth rights.. to twist the truth habitually..
I learned to use it frequently.. till the day came.. that she slipped..
and I gained the upper hand planned a vacation Well.. really a guilt trip..
I had anything.. with just a quip.. and I could see it in her eyes..
so she phoned my father up.. couldn't compete with me.. in lies..
My Dad saved me from that life.. and my mother.. got the summers..
and with each day that I grew older.. I'd gain more of her number..
She's 48 coming up this month, her MO hasn't changed a bit..
She still parties.. just not as much.. and still lies about the shit..
So influential? yeah.. a bit.. a lesson.. in what NOT to do..
but still it hurts... not to believe.. when a MOM says "I love you"
Too many times.. Me n Mines been screwed.. for money.. housing.. or just a ride..
and each time the lies subside.. a bit more love inside me dies..
I struggle with my pride.. choose not to hate her.. be a man..
But the roughest road.. is still to hoe.. for she got pregnant.. yes.. unplanned..
about 5 years ago this Jan.. to cut her off? it's not an option..
For my brother Cameron.. would pay the cost..just as much.. and much more often..
So until she's in a coffin.. I keep her close.. won't let her run..
so someday.. I might just raise.. my brother up.. as my own son..

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02-08-2018, 02:03 AM	#5
Saint Scream Join Date: Jun 2015 Posts: 3,252 Battle Record: 63-35 Accomplishments - 50 Wins Champed - BA Picture Roast - Battle Royale Tournament - NBL Pic Roast - Netcees Battle League - NBL Season 11 - HoT Roast - BAL Roast - Tag Team Tourney - NBL Barcotic Cypher - SOL Pic Roast - BA Tag - XXXtentacion Roast - 1-2 LR Champ Rep Power: 22535868	Desenut§ - "Influential Mom" Topic: choose someone you could honestly say influences you, bad or good, explain why he/she is so important to your life and the decisions you make, be creative She gave me life... birthed my self worth.. suckled me into silence and cured my welped hurts.. Steered me from the violence of words that bent verbs.. into action items to scurge my flesh worse.. than the hottest fires of hells darkest circles.. though she ran with a clan whose intent was to hurt those.. who might be weaker.. though in reality.. thier co-dependency.. was thier weakness in relief.. let me tell a tale.. of a mother and her love.. no better yet.. I'll tell a tale.. of a mother and her son.. Mom and Dad.. were both bad.. a product of the sixties.. with the tendencies of hippies.. and the habbits of addicting.. to any substance that's within reach.. from weed to heroine.. and so they'd burrow in.. to the cycles of thier sin.. always constant arguments.. remembered at the age of 3.. Dad would hit mom.. till I would intercede.. too young to really speak.. but my grief was common place.. and easy for them to read.. as it was written on my face.. the tear stained rivlets delved with grace.. through the dirt upon my cheeks.. leaving in stained relief.. what I couldn't really speak.. it'd stop them dead into thier heat.. as they raced towards a finish.. that would involve bruises left for weeks.. and swollen spoken sentence.. but this isn't what has been missed.. or impactfull in my life.. It really just set the stage.. for the next place filled with stryfe.. Mom eventually took flight.. and escaped with proginy.. to the coast and ocean shores.. to the north of San Jose.. Yes we got away.. but really nothing changed.. as mom was still stuck in the game.. neglecting me for her to gain.. another release from the pain.. a bag of weed... speed.. or best coke.. and quickly she took the leap.. to vein'd extacty.. instead of nose.. Addiction gained a tighter hold.. as I grew old enough to fathom.. Momma rarely spoke the truth.. too confused by cokes orgasm.. She refused to face her phantoms.. and that was passed straight on to me.. As I took my claimed birth rights.. to twist the truth habitually.. I learned to use it frequently.. till the day came.. that she slipped.. and I gained the upper hand planned a vacation Well.. really a guilt trip.. I had anything.. with just a quip.. and I could see it in her eyes.. so she phoned my father up.. couldn't compete with me.. in lies.. My Dad saved me from that life.. and my mother.. got the summers.. and with each day that I grew older.. I'd gain more of her number.. She's 48 coming up this month, her MO hasn't changed a bit.. She still parties.. just not as much.. and still lies about the shit.. So influential? yeah.. a bit.. a lesson.. in what NOT to do.. but still it hurts... not to believe.. when a MOM says "I love you" Too many times.. Me n Mines been screwed.. for money.. housing.. or just a ride.. and each time the lies subside.. a bit more love inside me dies.. I struggle with my pride.. choose not to hate her.. be a man.. But the roughest road.. is still to hoe.. for she got pregnant.. yes.. unplanned.. about 5 years ago this Jan.. to cut her off? it's not an option.. For my brother Cameron.. would pay the cost..just as much.. and much more often.. So until she's in a coffin.. I keep her close.. won't let her run.. so someday.. I might just raise.. my brother up.. as my own son..