Gangster Squad (AOWL no-show verse)

MMLP · 05-20-2016, 09:57 AM

first part: I really like your style tbf, its fast paced rhyming n story telling , flow was maintained, I'd prefer more internal multies but I understand that's hard to perfect.

But sticking to the topic throughout is key imo and that's what you've done here!

second part: your rhyming pace slowed down a lot. I believe at this point, you were dedicated to the story, so I understand it completely...

ending fell a bit flat if im honest but overall, I enjoyed the read man, good work!

I can only picture a reservoir dogs scene when reading this lol

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05-20-2016, 09:57 AM	#3
MMLP Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2013 Posts: 614 Battle Record: 15-16 Champed - Write Week 9 Rep Power: 9768091	first part: I really like your style tbf, its fast paced rhyming n story telling , flow was maintained, I'd prefer more internal multies but I understand that's hard to perfect. But sticking to the topic throughout is key imo and that's what you've done here! second part: your rhyming pace slowed down a lot. I believe at this point, you were dedicated to the story, so I understand it completely... ending fell a bit flat if im honest but overall, I enjoyed the read man, good work! I can only picture a reservoir dogs scene when reading this lol