Week 11: Asylum vs Witty [WITTY 6-1 ADJUSTED 2-1 WIITY]

Artifice · 05-18-2016, 07:08 PM

Asylum

Cool piece here. Like how you took the topic in a different direction, while still tying all the elements of the picture into your take. Nice. Flow was pretty smooth, sprinkled with some cool imagery thoughout.

We maintain secrecy, simply follow birds of prey to where the fallen lay,
they’re open wings signal spoils of wars laying in wait, ours to take.

That couplet there stood out to me. Nice multis, narrative works to build your plot and ties in the imagery you've laid out. Solid.

Witty

Damn. This piece was fire. Flow was on point, schemes were well flushed out, read real smooth. I dug the story, a killer reflecting on his past, his environment helping to tell the tale. Coming to terms with his actions, and the way you set up the ending was excellent.

This is a close battle, possibly botw, but I got Witty edging it. I feel like his verse just had that little something extra that stands out to me. Hope you continue to stay in the league.

v/ Witty

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05-18-2016, 07:08 PM	#5
Artifice Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2016 Posts: 269 Battle Record: 17-9 Champed - Art Of Writing League - GWL Picture Challenge Rep Power: 3944949	Asylum Cool piece here. Like how you took the topic in a different direction, while still tying all the elements of the picture into your take. Nice. Flow was pretty smooth, sprinkled with some cool imagery thoughout. We maintain secrecy, simply follow birds of prey to where the fallen lay, they’re open wings signal spoils of wars laying in wait, ours to take. That couplet there stood out to me. Nice multis, narrative works to build your plot and ties in the imagery you've laid out. Solid. Witty Damn. This piece was fire. Flow was on point, schemes were well flushed out, read real smooth. I dug the story, a killer reflecting on his past, his environment helping to tell the tale. Coming to terms with his actions, and the way you set up the ending was excellent. This is a close battle, possibly botw, but I got Witty edging it. I feel like his verse just had that little something extra that stands out to me. Hope you continue to stay in the league. v/ Witty