Week 7: Mr. J vs. Artifice (ARTIFICE WINS 7-0 SHUTOUT)

asylum · 04-20-2016, 03:23 AM

mvgt art, but let it be known I think J did a better job with his progression until about mid verse. flow was mad sleek. art's piece would have been hard to defeat. further breakdowns in mag.

Pharaohs Army · 04-20-2016, 08:00 AM

V/Artifice

artifice
sick man.. top notch
lenses in space placed to evade atmospheric haze & flicker
snap shots from when the fog faded, taking the universe's baby picture
bonkers^

if i was gonna nitpick i'd say there were a couple stretched frases for rhyme purposes... like zooming on the loose and balloons in darkness too
These are a lil' weak compared to the phraseology throughout.

But the piece was very dope. splendid job

J
It would have taken a lot to top artifice's verse let's be honest
your rhymes&flows are good per usual, even the "simple" ones that can sometimes garnish lulz, like the GPA line.

You kinda told a few mini-stories in this: julie, the dad, being a RB at HS...
kind of impressively annoying.
I like it...out of curiosity I wonder if you knew how this was gonna end when you started.

anyway, your development of the I-character is interesting... By the end we know some things about the person who's experiencing the alien event.
the Multiples at the end were good too.

the strange events he's experiencing, starting with the buzzing... i think you could have done more with less-- meaning you have the ability to make that section more impactful&succinct... or, 1 or the other

Good piece tho. Artifice just came too good here

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04-20-2016, 03:23 AM	#1
asylum Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2014 Posts: 999 Battle Record: 7-5 Rep Power: 8214211	mvgt art, but let it be known I think J did a better job with his progression until about mid verse. flow was mad sleek. art's piece would have been hard to defeat. further breakdowns in mag.

04-20-2016, 08:00 AM	#2
Pharaohs Army Banned Join Date: Aug 2014 Posts: 2,956 Battle Record: 6 - 14 Rep Power: 0	V/Artifice artifice sick man.. top notch lenses in space placed to evade atmospheric haze & flicker snap shots from when the fog faded, taking the universe's baby picture bonkers^ if i was gonna nitpick i'd say there were a couple stretched frases for rhyme purposes... like zooming on the loose and balloons in darkness too These are a lil' weak compared to the phraseology throughout. But the piece was very dope. splendid job J It would have taken a lot to top artifice's verse let's be honest your rhymes&flows are good per usual, even the "simple" ones that can sometimes garnish lulz, like the GPA line. You kinda told a few mini-stories in this: julie, the dad, being a RB at HS... kind of impressively annoying. I like it...out of curiosity I wonder if you knew how this was gonna end when you started. anyway, your development of the I-character is interesting... By the end we know some things about the person who's experiencing the alien event. the Multiples at the end were good too. the strange events he's experiencing, starting with the buzzing... i think you could have done more with less-- meaning you have the ability to make that section more impactful&succinct... or, 1 or the other Good piece tho. Artifice just came too good here