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Old 03-30-2016, 03:44 PM   #9
Razah
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Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Chicago.
Posts: 1,088
Battle Record: 8-10


Champed
- Art of Writing League

Rep Power: 11328545
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Adonis / ZeeDee

Both parts flowed smoothly. I have no major issues with anything, all was thoroughly enjoyable to me.

This beginning part was my fav' though.

Quote:
Mark was a strange youth, socially awkward
A comic book recluse with horrible posture
At home within fiction - traversing a mind
Lost in the caverns amiss of sunshine
Two laces short of a set
A pair of Jordans where Jumpman’s facing the left
Buddha:

Celestial seems to be a word you like to use a lot.

Quote:
Somatizing my psychological struggles with carpal tunnel
17 syllables, the first 3 words alone are what most bars usually are. I know that's the way you write, but that's one of my biggest issues with that. It's great if I'm reading it just to read it, but I can't rap this shit.

somaticizing** ??

Quote:
Am I really flesh or am I something else. Is this just a silly test?
Physical therapists couldn’t heal my legs. Everyday walking a little less.
Being alive just to count the days toward a meaningless death. Sickly quest.
The windy city has left Cred, deadman, and I with chilly necks,
Cynical Illinois men due to not seeing sunshine for months on end.
I’m sun obsessed. I love watching my girlfriend dance around in her summer dress.
Probably my favorite part. Regardless of the syllable counts, the internals kept it reading smoothly. Also, I'm a little upset I wasn't mentioned in there. Racist.

Quote:
It’s magical how I could wake up and do things.
Create the future, with movements based on fate or illusion.
Contemplating the blueprint, yet unlocking my DNA seems fruitless.
Insatiate by the rubric, I’m debating my ruin, deciding whether to begin embracing the crooked.
Meditating on the nature of hubris. Virtue isn’t a sacred absolution.
Look at me. An animal that never became tamed from evolution.
Another part I liked. The word crooked kind of threw my rhyming off though.


All in all, pretty cool battle. I read the first verse and kinda figured my vote would go for that verse. Turns out, I ended up liking GC's verse more. Usually I don't dig his style too much, but this time, he didn't go full Buddha, so that was kinda' cool. I kinda' liked the Adonis/Zee's story more, but I just liked more bars out of Buddha's verse. I'm gonna have to give it to him, even though I feel like Adonis/Zee were more spot on with their topic than he was, I just liked more shit out of it.

vBuddha
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