Tributes to J Dilla and Nujabes

[Mr. J]

sending shots at you like I got the fire flower..

well...however you may have put it, it was an interesting concept but the wording is off
competin with sleep/ amount of hours seems like a weird idea to work with as well
I see how you are trying to work these ideas in here but I dont feel like this rhyme scheme works for you

back when I took this slightly more serious I always wanted my end rhyme to be different from others
take this is an example

when that gun spark I power up on some fire flower
the high stays in my mind for hours & then I bust off
toss shells & stomp the body to prove you cant fuck with ours
....
....
...
Or something like that. you dont always have to end your rhyme with the same rhyme if the flow is on point
you have some decent ideas & its clear that you are recording for audio so it may not come off the same
if you work on your pacing though you can make almost anything work though.
I rarely play with audio these days though so I cant really say anything else on it.

Ill read more later...just a few thoughts to toss your way