The Suicide

[Split]

Strong metaphorical relationships. The only one that seemed alien was the politics/ school shootings, which I think was purposeful.

I liked the progression here, felt almost Bukowski like.

also enjoyed how you showed the skewed view of people in general, and it's asymmetry, and contrasted it with humanity's roots through strong, symbolic, traditional metaphors. This also gave the poem an air of nobility that shamed the general audience.

Only complaint would be that the calm precedes the sadness (opening bar) becomes the calm that follows the sadness for the rest of the poem. seems like a typo to me.

Nice avy, btw.