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#5 |
The Clown Prince
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 5,046
Battle Record: 35-45
Champed - Art of Writing League
Rep Power: 59349682 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
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Dearg, I've come across your work a few times and enjoyed what I've seen
this time around you remind me of the more older style of writing I've come across. you have a real bulky set up but your flow shines through each line and works I like your verse because you push it to the limits while executing all these mechanics towards the 3rd section you shorten your lines down and switch up nicely. sometimes the transition is the biggest drawback to most writers as the piece progresses regardless I felt like you grasped onto your topic and put together a dope piece my only issue is that you may have added a lot of unnecessary filler as well but the good tends to outweigh the bad for the most part, some nice work I've seen witches and wizards, been kissed in a blizzard Trained dragons to fly, lived in a land where bliss never withered I am centuries old, yet young as a bird in a new day Sometimes my hair is a blue/gray, or I'm wearing a toupe Or maybe a slicked back look, biker leather from head to toe At times I'm afraid to be afraid, and at others I let it show In my world, light and darkness go hand in hand as a duo I've built my own spaceship and landed on Pluto Went behind Jupiter's back to take advantage of Juno ^^^^ You really shine through these lines and you add some dopeness all through I remember when I first saw you around these parts you were just a itty bitty fox now here you are all grown up and putting words together and shit, its ridiculous regardless you have come into your own witness and I really enjoy your verse I read it again because of the smoothness and the control of your idea choices when you show you really do...and when you write you impress...nice work brah... v/this is another difficult battle to vote on, I praise both writers for the amount of work they put in Dearg brought a different style to this battle and held his own while crafted a dope topic the overall feel of his verse felt like it was decently thought out before gracing the thread I admit there were a few lines I could have done without but it doesnt damage his chances here going to his opponent, the witness, I found myself enjoying everything about this verse it gives so many perspectives that your verse could have went on forever, I like it... this is a really close battle even with the difference in styles ultimately I feel like Im going to have to give this to Witty... I enjoyed Deargs verse because he went the distance, but Witty brought a more memorable verse dope battle fellas, v/Witty
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