![]() |
![]() |
#12 |
Erebus
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 435
Battle Record: 6-1
Champed - Art of Writing League
Rep Power: 3537335 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
![]()
NYCSPITZ - Three things. First, that name is forced as fuck to rhyme with "caged bird sings". Two, this is the words of a well-adjusted professor?. Three, I still don't know why a caged bird sings.
EDIT: Wait I was sure I wrote more in NYC's bit. Sorry mate. Anyways, I actually found it very easy to picture everything. Maybe I'm just in that mood or maybe you made it subtle with your imagery. Not sure. But I was right there none the less. You had some solid substance in there but I felt a couple of things just didn't click. Like what's the relevance of you being a professor now? Did this incident make you a professor? Couple of things didn't really resonate but the rhyming style, flow and overall storytelling and picture was there for me. I'd prefer to see a bit less of a "hood" writing style next time though. YDK:- When I first read this, I swear I read it like it's a fucking haiku. Dopeness Rematch finally Good luck bro Anyways...interesting little drop. You're easily my favourite topical writer to read from cause none of it is fancy. I don't miss the point. The rhyming isn't off. The flow isn't struggled. Just easy verses to read and enjoy. Obviously, you didn't expect to win this. You thought he'd no show, took a chance and it didnt pay off so you rushed something so votes could defo come in. Overall, as a result of the few lines I just said, there's only really one winner. I'd have seen it going the other way though if YDK put some time in. MVGT - NYCSPITZ, good to read from you again btw.
__________________
![]() Last edited by EtH; 10-01-2015 at 10:54 PM. |
![]() |
Thread Tools | |
Display Modes | |
|
|