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04-29-2013, 10:22 PM
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#11 |
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Om
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 6,461
Battle Record: 8-16
Rep Power: 84181562   |
This was real nice storytelling. The imagery just flows in. The ending felt a little anticlimactic though, maybe it's just me, I dont enjoy happy endings in stories lol, and I felt like a murderous ending wouldve fit this piece much more.
In any case, this is still some decent writing. good job man
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