Just Write: Well crafted verse with a rhyme structure that flowed well. Storyline was great but you went for an obvious route with the topic at hand. So with that in mind it wasn't really that creative/unique of a story to tell. However, everything else was dope and I don't got anything bad to say about the piece other than I'd like to see more out-of-the-box shit in terms of the topic given. All-in-all a solid verse that lacks a bit in the creativity department.
n0 g0od: You also went for the rather obvious route with the topical in mind. The story itself is great and speaks of a daily life a lot of us can't even fathom, the flow and structure was dope here as well. I'm going to say the same thing to you that I did to Just Write; All-in-all a solid verse that lacks a bit in the creativity department.
My Final Vote goes to Just Write. While both had great stories to tell one went more in depth than the other, and that was Just Write. n0 Go0D: Props for writing about something real that has happened to you (if it has), but I'm not sure if this is the place to post a verse like this, because when it comes to voting the authenticity of the verse or how personal it is to the writer means nothing to me and kinda takes away from the verse itself by adding notes about it on the bottom. It's most likely personal as fuck to you and I hate to base my feedback on your stuff in a battle like this as it would be completely different if I judged your piece alone. It might even sound harsh when I say that you're lacking in the creativity department, but fact of the matter is that you went for the obvious route in this battle, both of you did. Don't know if J.W.'s verse was some true shit as well, but if it was all of this applies to him as well.
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04-26-2013, 06:12 PM
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