AOWL Week 10: nO goOd! (0-1) VS. Just Write (0-2) [JUST WRITE WINS, 6-3.]

Vulgar · 04-26-2013, 03:09 PM

Just Write - Good verse, it felt very personal. How the narrative was spun didn't have the customary 'depressing battlefield' vibe to it, but it was more revealing on a day to day level. You talked about basic training and then transitioned to the main character's experiences in Iraq, being trained as a sniper and finally, having to use those skills in combat. I thought the rhyme scheme was satisfying the whole way through except for small spaces. The content: focused and refined based on true events I'm assuming. I can't say I agree with the political side of your perspective on the marines and the U.S. but I can understand your perspective as a soldier whose services were needed at that place and time; but for me, Iraq was an unjust, undeclared war that never should've happened.

No Good - Another heartfelt verse from a similar direction. You chose to go for shorter lines, a differing structure from your opponent who was heavy-handed throughout his verse. You came with a concise presentation, a story and a dedication to a lost member of the armed forces and a very close friend. I enjoyed reading it.

My vote goes to No Good. I just felt that he said what he had to say in a way that left me with a stronger sensation when I walked away from the battle.

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04-26-2013, 03:09 PM	#12
Vulgar Razor-thin derision Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 4,422 Battle Record: 40-25 Accomplishments - OM HOF Champed - Fight Night LIV - Gimmick Battle League (2x) - Write Week II - Art of Writing League - Storytelling And Topical Invitational Tournament - STI - Haiku Writer Challenge - GWL Picture Challenge(2x) Rep Power: 49604320	Just Write - Good verse, it felt very personal. How the narrative was spun didn't have the customary 'depressing battlefield' vibe to it, but it was more revealing on a day to day level. You talked about basic training and then transitioned to the main character's experiences in Iraq, being trained as a sniper and finally, having to use those skills in combat. I thought the rhyme scheme was satisfying the whole way through except for small spaces. The content: focused and refined based on true events I'm assuming. I can't say I agree with the political side of your perspective on the marines and the U.S. but I can understand your perspective as a soldier whose services were needed at that place and time; but for me, Iraq was an unjust, undeclared war that never should've happened. No Good - Another heartfelt verse from a similar direction. You chose to go for shorter lines, a differing structure from your opponent who was heavy-handed throughout his verse. You came with a concise presentation, a story and a dedication to a lost member of the armed forces and a very close friend. I enjoyed reading it. My vote goes to No Good. I just felt that he said what he had to say in a way that left me with a stronger sensation when I walked away from the battle.