AOWL Week 10: Innovator (4-5) VS. Objective (2-3) [OBJECTIVE WINS, 7-0.]

[IamBenT]

Wow nice shit.

Objective - Most def on a whole different level from your prior battles. Just the italicized part, in context, is on par with VOTW type shit. the flow was solid, nothing spectacular, the vocab was nice, and i feel you did justice to the topic in a creative way, by blending story and topical in a solid piece.

I swear to God he'd beat word association on hard
if it was on playstation without a memory card.

Made me LOL

a person trying to convey a word differently is the problem of Coolidges ways.

didnt like that line at all

Inno - there are flashes here of interesting character development, but wording issues got in the way for me, and i had trouble really breaking down everything you were trying to convey with this character. to me, motivation should be clear and we should get some strong verbs for a character to really be anchored to what he's thinking/feeling/doing/experiencing, and I didn't get that the whole way from this verse. Not sure how to feel about it.

Each night he dies in his sleep, quietly he does
So until he’s sees invisible tags tied to his cold toes

didnt like, not a fan of visual rhymes unless executed perfectly

The end was nice as a summation of this interesting character.

Vote -Objective had some hiccups but the verse was very intelligent and fresh throughout.