ribbit vs Vulgar (Vulgar wins)

[UnbornBuddha]

Ribbit: I thought this was a bit all over the place, and some straightforwardness would have definitely helped the consumption of the material via the reader. I have no problem with the language, but at times it felt as the combination of the words were just for show instead of meaning. Also, I think there were some wording issues that made lines that would have been particularly strong into no-hitters. But, I did like some of it, it just needs to be proofread more.

Vulgar: When I think of poetry this isn't it. Now, while poetry is very fluent in its form, there are still structural boundaries that I feel it needs, so as to still be in the realm of poetry. This read more like a short story, but it was a well-written short story, and the last two stanzas were particularly humorous for me. However, seeing that this is a poetry league, I don't see this piece as equivocal and appropriate in its poetic guise.

Vote: Ribbit