AOWL Week 9: Nigma (4-2) vs. Xces (1-0) [XCES WINS, 6-5.]

Soulstice · 04-15-2013, 11:01 PM

nigma - dope flow. thought the whole mirror-image wait it isnt me flip was cool, and tied the peice together well. as i was reading i was a little lost through the disconnected imagery but it all made sense at the end. my only qualm is the lack of commentary. it sort of a list-verse and then wrappign it up by placing it all beneath the ENORMOUS umbrella of 'bad shit'. it was a pretty original, well rhyming piece about a spirallign descent from dreamscape to nightmare-scape though

xces - i thought the wording really took away from the imagery. you tried to describe actions more than scene-setting and what could result of the actions. it was very verby and i couldnt really fully set the scene in my mind. the chess introspections between stanzas were cool, and the flow was pretty tight, but overall the esoteric vocabulary was put to use in a different manner than what i consider effective. the rutherford metaphor was kind of a stretch. it didnt really build into the atmosphere of the piece or create a new dimension of it.. it was just sort of there as a filler. i feel like im being harsher than i usually i am, but what seems to be an ambitious writing style deserves it

v - nigma/ tighter flow and he tied up his superior imagery nicely at the end.

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04-15-2013, 11:01 PM	#12
Soulstice native system Join Date: Mar 2013 Posts: 387 Battle Record: 18-21 Champed - Short-Verse Topical Rep Power: 4453411	nigma - dope flow. thought the whole mirror-image wait it isnt me flip was cool, and tied the peice together well. as i was reading i was a little lost through the disconnected imagery but it all made sense at the end. my only qualm is the lack of commentary. it sort of a list-verse and then wrappign it up by placing it all beneath the ENORMOUS umbrella of 'bad shit'. it was a pretty original, well rhyming piece about a spirallign descent from dreamscape to nightmare-scape though xces - i thought the wording really took away from the imagery. you tried to describe actions more than scene-setting and what could result of the actions. it was very verby and i couldnt really fully set the scene in my mind. the chess introspections between stanzas were cool, and the flow was pretty tight, but overall the esoteric vocabulary was put to use in a different manner than what i consider effective. the rutherford metaphor was kind of a stretch. it didnt really build into the atmosphere of the piece or create a new dimension of it.. it was just sort of there as a filler. i feel like im being harsher than i usually i am, but what seems to be an ambitious writing style deserves it v - nigma/ tighter flow and he tied up his superior imagery nicely at the end.