WK6: Witty (3-1) vs UnbornBuddha (3-1) -- Witty 5-0

[Dominate]

Buddha - that quote was a cool take on the topic. I didn't love how you used it though... it's good that you wrote about something other than mythological figures and their shenanigans this week, but when you write about mortals their actions and motivations need to realistic, or, if they are extraordinary, it warrants some explanation. For example, why was a quote from a fictional movie character enough to inspire Godwin to perpetrate mass murder and destruction? Then, having perpetrated said acts, why did he switch back to being good so suddenly? A little more exploration of Godwin's character as a grounding for what he did would've improved this piece drastically IMO. Descriptions and vocab were good though. On a technical note, your rhyming this week was markedly less impressive than in previous weeks, which makes it worse that the lines were just a little too long to hold a rhythm... some good elements in the verse but this was far from your best work overall.


Witty - eh. This was far from your best, too. I've commented before how your rhymes seem very natural - like you're just writing prose and what you write happens to rhyme a lot. I didn't get that sense here. Your rhyme schemes were good, as ever, but I was too aware that your words were chosen to fit the scheme as I was reading. Case in point, one of your best turns of phrase - "old father fate begins to lift his head" - didn't rhyme with anything! I'm not saying you had forced rhymes or even that it was bad, per se. Just that the balance between rhyming and wording wasn't up to your usual standard. Content wise, it was OK. Too well worn of an idea maybe... wasn't super interesting. It was decent. Hit the topic well enough. You did enough to get the win.


V/ Witty