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Old 10-15-2014, 03:35 PM   #12
N10tionalMalice
Test me, then respect me!
 
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I enjoyed this, not incredibly creative and punchlines were kinda weak but I actually enjoyed most of the wordplay and tought your word choices were the most creative part...u can tell u have a lot of potential just a little rough around the edges, but u understand flow which is more than I can say for some, including myself at times...anyway newb here and just wanted to let u know what I thought...6.5/10, but I feel u couldve really killed it with this subject matter, so keep after it and start drooping some jaws bro cuz I think u def have it in u...maybe start coming up with ur punchlines first and then piece in lines that lead to it, sometimes that helps me when Im stuck, its a lot easier to bridge the punchlines together, than it is to try and come up with a punchline to go with something, imo...hope this helps, but def get ur shovel and dig deep!
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