DC - i'm not sure what i've taken from this verse, but i'm confident little to none of it was negative. idk. i don't know who Milton Waddams is, so i'm probably missing a trick and putting you at a natural disadvantage, but i can at least judge the verse on individual merit. in theory. the emotion of your character was somewhat felt, i barely pieced together his motivation. the writing itself was a touch stiff and not particularly tasty. by no means a bad verse, though.
splitty - i attempted economy, unconsciously, with my verse of the first round, but in retrospect probably said too much. this was probably the briefest verse i've read yet, feeling almost like a thoughtful scrawl on the inside of a binder that, given time, could flourish into something fully-fleshed and warranting bite-marks. the nascent verse still weighed a few ounces, though. light display/wife would make was really very well done. more direct writing interspersed by 'poetic' abstractions mixed for a cool recipe. this was a bit bare bones, tbh, but there was enough to chew on. barely.
v/split
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09-08-2014, 01:14 AM
Hybrid Mode
