Round 1: R. Frank vs. 16. MKG \\ Frank wins 6-3

Eŋg · 08-31-2014, 08:01 PM

mkg - this isn't bad writing. i felt like it was a very pedestrian offering. it rhymed ok, but nothing caught me especially in this verse. you could switched things up, rhythmically, or with a swerve in the story. idk. create some intrigue. it wasn't very impressive.

cherry - clunky. you really butchered in parts of this, remedied somewhat by the more interesting phrases you conjured. a pretty mixed bag. i kind of stumbled through it - you felt suffocated in this format. don't inhale the smoke.

one interested me more.

v/frank

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Switch to Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Threaded Mode

08-31-2014, 08:01 PM	#9
Eŋg rhyme capsule. Join Date: Sep 2018 Posts: 2,150 Rep Power: 0	mkg - this isn't bad writing. i felt like it was a very pedestrian offering. it rhymed ok, but nothing caught me especially in this verse. you could switched things up, rhythmically, or with a swerve in the story. idk. create some intrigue. it wasn't very impressive. cherry - clunky. you really butchered in parts of this, remedied somewhat by the more interesting phrases you conjured. a pretty mixed bag. i kind of stumbled through it - you felt suffocated in this format. don't inhale the smoke. one interested me more. v/frank