zygote; sterile verse. i stopped reading for a moment to put on a white scientist suit. very doctor kervorkian-like. story telling was 007 for Nintendo 64; timed mines and big head codes. lol.
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Their jaundiced yellow skin contrasts the labs grey masonry.
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incredible contrast. mundane palette
Quote:
Quote:
"You may leave commandant, I must begin preliminary tests,"
Clauberg singles out a woman and traces his finger over her chest.
"Assistant, bring this one into the examination room,
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alien
adonis; sometimes I feel a bit like an adonis; vain and i feel as if what I read is about me, in some way, shape or form. not the case here; interesting continuation element; kind of dilutes what you have just written; because it is it is now in the shadow of a greater piece. the first stanza and second stanza were breath taking. very fresh. third stanzas loses that magic; you fail to deliver your original concept; one of birth of a angel. I hate to nit pick; but you spell angle wrong. really disappointed in the execution of this; knowing how well immersed you can be.
v/ zygote
04-01-2013, 03:45 PM
Hybrid Mode
