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UnbornBuddha · 08-02-2014, 03:55 AM

Good stuff. I get the feeling many times you just rhymed to rhyme. Using words that had similar connotations and using them for the sake of doing so. I did enjoy you using grammar words so as to lead a discussion on your love for language, and its implications when interacting with the world. Although you had a method, it lacked a certain focal point that inevitably will give it a direction in which you can explain what you truly want to. The meaning at times was eschewed by certain phrasing that sometimes was used for the sake of maintaining a certain order. Which is important, but the conveying of your conceptual framework precedes it.
Anyways keep writing. You are sure to prosper.

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08-02-2014, 03:55 AM	#7
UnbornBuddha Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2014 Posts: 1,008 Battle Record: 23-10 Champed - Art of Writing League - AOWL Season 5 Rep Power: 23856379	Good stuff. I get the feeling many times you just rhymed to rhyme. Using words that had similar connotations and using them for the sake of doing so. I did enjoy you using grammar words so as to lead a discussion on your love for language, and its implications when interacting with the world. Although you had a method, it lacked a certain focal point that inevitably will give it a direction in which you can explain what you truly want to. The meaning at times was eschewed by certain phrasing that sometimes was used for the sake of maintaining a certain order. Which is important, but the conveying of your conceptual framework precedes it. Anyways keep writing. You are sure to prosper.