lost regrets

UnbornBuddha · 07-28-2014, 06:16 PM

This was a lovely little piece. Although it does seem like you rhymed for the sake of rhyming sometimes. I love rhyming too, but think of rhyming like a tool. Not every tools is required at every instant. There are different types of rhyming, some more subtle than others. Yours are more direct. Which is nice to those that like rhyming, but like a boxing match one wouldn't just throw uppercuts. One would use the other myriad ways to bring out the best effect. I realize this is just a small little piece, and its not meant to be your magnum opus. But sometimes this little pieces can have the most profound ability to catch the eye of the beholder, so to speak.

Anyways, keep writing my friend.

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07-28-2014, 06:16 PM	#7
UnbornBuddha Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2014 Posts: 1,008 Battle Record: 23-10 Champed - Art of Writing League - AOWL Season 5 Rep Power: 23856379	This was a lovely little piece. Although it does seem like you rhymed for the sake of rhyming sometimes. I love rhyming too, but think of rhyming like a tool. Not every tools is required at every instant. There are different types of rhyming, some more subtle than others. Yours are more direct. Which is nice to those that like rhyming, but like a boxing match one wouldn't just throw uppercuts. One would use the other myriad ways to bring out the best effect. I realize this is just a small little piece, and its not meant to be your magnum opus. But sometimes this little pieces can have the most profound ability to catch the eye of the beholder, so to speak. Anyways, keep writing my friend.