Week 12: 11. King Ra. (5-5) vs. 12. timeless (6-5) \\ King Ra. wins 6-0

Zen · 05-17-2014, 04:23 PM

timeless- Is this Mordycai? It seems like it by the style, but I don't pay much attention to name changes. Anyway, I wasn't feeling this to be honest. Separating your lines mid sentence fucked up how I read it. Good use of punctuation would've made for an easier read than dividing it the way you did imo. The content was ok, nothing blew my mind but nothing was terrible either. I'm iffy on this verse. Just not feeling this one.

Ra- Been awhile since I've read a verse from you so I had high hopes when I came in to read this, but this seemed very rushed to me. Early on in the verse you showed that the verse might take off and be rad as fuck, but it didn't. It just kept going, never overwhelming or underwhelming me, but just managing to squeak by by doing just enough this week.

V/RA

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05-17-2014, 04:23 PM	#4
Zen Arm the Homeless Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 4,102 Battle Record: 22-24 Champed - Art of Writing League Rep Power: 35079722	timeless- Is this Mordycai? It seems like it by the style, but I don't pay much attention to name changes. Anyway, I wasn't feeling this to be honest. Separating your lines mid sentence fucked up how I read it. Good use of punctuation would've made for an easier read than dividing it the way you did imo. The content was ok, nothing blew my mind but nothing was terrible either. I'm iffy on this verse. Just not feeling this one. Ra- Been awhile since I've read a verse from you so I had high hopes when I came in to read this, but this seemed very rushed to me. Early on in the verse you showed that the verse might take off and be rad as fuck, but it didn't. It just kept going, never overwhelming or underwhelming me, but just managing to squeak by by doing just enough this week. V/RA