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05-04-2014, 03:05 AM
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#2 |
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Mad fucking dangerous.
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 12,066
Battle Record: 40-19
Champed - AOWL Season 3
- Art of Writing League (2x)
Rep Power: 85899406   |
Camel Crush?
This was OK. I liked the stanza about the niece the most. A lot of the phrasing and images were pedestrian, but they were written naturally and had decent flow. The ennui was strong, just a little too generic.
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I'm just swinging swords strictly based on keyboards, unbalanced like elephants and ants on seesaws. |
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