Week 10 championship: 1. El Pancake (5-2) vs. 2. zygote (7-2) \\ zygote wins 6-0

[Certain]

Season 3

The Basics | Read the full rules here.

Verses are due Friday at 11:59 p.m. PT. THERE ARE NO EXTENSIONS.

Votes are due Sunday at 11:59 p.m. PT.

Verses may not exceed 48 lines or 650 words unless agreed upon by the opponent.

Voting on three battles is required. If you win and don't vote, you will receive a loss instead. If you lose and don't vote, you will receive a one-week suspension. Please post links to your three votes in this thread.


Topic


“Facts are stubborn things.” — John Adams


Good luck, @El Pancake and @zygote.

[zygote]

SATIRIC POLITICS: AOWLSOVIA CAMPAIGN, 1833 ADDRESS.

“Good countrymen and woman, decentfolk of our honest town.
I stand before you humbled, twice beaten but not yet bowed.
My proud opposing Senator would bamboozle you with his fancy lexicon,
Thinly-veiled rhetoric, promising you everything within his lengthy yarns.
Whereupon, you will find those vows to be merely an illusion,
Empty exertions designed to inspire a degree of confusion.
Bandying words within his philosophical musings,
I give my honest guarantee that it shall not be my undoing.
Beneath his eloquence, beyond his mastery of the ‘English’ language,
I ask of you good honestmen to complete but one simple challenge.
Answer, what would my opposing Senator have you believe?
People of Aowlsovia, which facts would Mr. Pennock have you believe?
Facts are stubborn things. My opponent is as stubborn as a headless mule.
I wish to reveal several revelations he would have kept from you.
My opposing Senator views us with contempt from his icy paradise,
Looking down on all of us from his lofty, isolated palace heights.
He spares little time for the average life, for our everyday needs and desires,
He has not yet experienced loss nor the ambitions to which we aspire.
For how can someone who has not felt the grief of presidential defeat understand his brother’s plight?
We saw his indifferent nature when he retired our own Chief Justice Wright.
But I do not consider it necessary at present to discuss such sordid matters,
It is now the time to lend an unflinching gaze toward our challenges.
From the South the contentious Senator Franklin Rosenthal gathers momentum,
We need a strong presence in the executive to handle his brand of aggression.
And from the periphery all new manner of independent Senators emerge,
For how is Democracy truly Democratic if only one can ever serve?
Moreover, Mr. Pennock has recently usurped Quincy Oatsfield - our favorite President,
Utilizing such an unholy design that it can only be described as shameful precedent.
It is time for hope and change, we no longer require irrelevant rhetoric,
Cast aside clever broadsweeping references and generalist messages.
Propaganda slander depicts me as devoid of all passion and feeling,
And so I ask again, what would my opposing Senator have you believe in?
Keep staunch your belief, for my commitment remains resolute.
I will not retire after any loss, nor will I ever berate or rebuke.
Nor will I question the electorate, for I believe in the Great Democratic Process.
I can only serve those of patriotic ilk with a sense of modest progress.
I will not stoop nor compromise, for I am a plain-speaking Aowlsivian,
Us everyday-kin do not require such types of elitist politicians.
We require a common champion. Not an eloquent, uncaring bombast.
I will not further attempt to note each glaring contrast.
I’ve spent the last few days at home, in Small Town Generic County.
My physician ordered me to recover and to avoid all aggressive outings.
I cannot comply with those orders, not even in my weakened condition,
Least not while a silver-tongued charlatan holds our most prestigious position.
It is my deepest conviction that in time the righteous take up their rightful place.
It has always been my endeavor to execute my lawful writing both in good time and in good faith.
I wish to provide every Aowlsivian with my simple attitude,
Before concluding, I once more simply ask of you -
What are the facts Mr. Pennock would have you all believe?
Good decentfolk, it is now the time to cast your vote for me.”

- Senator John Hubner-Zygmann.

[PancakeBrah]

Aspersions for a verse? Fine, for vemin, swine. But I’ve human vision
So serpentine. I guess I’m some cartoonish version. A new edition.
Resume your assumed positions for one Hubner Zygman?
No. You can still feel your feels under my supervision.

my grandfather was a drinker of whiskey.
a greater man, I didn’t know. to the brink so briskly,
an edge was a cliff. another smidgen to skip.
with a kip in his step. a toothy smile and history to forget
simply ‘the best’. I live a life as an homage
with no cause. a false symmetry for regret.
I write to find a feel. in a drunken state or sober
truncated. I write of summer days of old or
the sunken state I’ve molded. The thunderous
stage I’m holed up in. no such thing to represent.

"He was a drunk."

I write characters for text. so many marionettes.
periphery. picking from the carrion’s flesh
“how do you”s? I just stare at the rest
of the people around. carrying on, bare as my chest.
add in my wary unrest and you’ve got a classic
aowlsvian set. worded so caustic, maudlin act it’s…
so easy.

"You have no friends"

I want to find Mr. Google and strangle his neck.
at an acute angle, his flesh. Create a tangible mess.




I didn’t ask Google. I asked you.
Shut the fuck up and lookup from your screen.
Look at me. Even if it’s askew.
I feel you’d shudder, adjusting from things.
No, you can’t phone a search string.
Tell me your fucking thoughts,
because facts are such stubborn things.

[timeless]

Zyg, first of all, this was dope. People might see your approach to the topic as a cop out but this is how it should be done. loved the debate process and the little references with oats and frank. Pennock worked well. Great verse for a champ match.

Cake, honestly wasnt feeling this man. Was wack imo to feed off of his verse in the beginning. Then the rest of the verse strayed from that, aside from I assume mr. google is a reference to zyg. Even after a couple reads, I couldnt get a grip on it. Seems like you rushed it this week, thats never good.

V. Zyg

[Mike Wrecka]

hmmm very interesting battle here. you guys took things into uncharted territory with your verses. both were risky endeavors to say the least but in the end it turned out to be entertaining and a refreshing change of pace.

zygote - creative take on the topic. I am usually vehemently against attacking your opponent in a topical battle but you did it in a comical and novel way. it also wasnt really a diss so to speak, more a satire using a character that was supposed to represent cake. the writing was good. the flow was ok not great. and tbph, which I know you appreciate, I got bored of the verse half way through. it was yawnsville in some spots. but im not big on political satire. overall good idea, decently executed.

pancake - ok so after reading zygs verse I said, ok pancake has to do something a little out of the ordinary to top that. and you did. except you didn't come up with your own idea, you just mirrored zygs. I thought that created a very interesting kind of battle. one we haven't seen before. so no minus points for that. but I think you missed an opportunity to come up with a zany idea of your own. the writing was better than zygs. flow and structure wise. the end rhymes were also better. the marionette line stands out. I like that word. BUT and this is a big sir mix a lot but, this felt like a half effort from you. it was too short. I don't know I don't think you gave it 100 percent here.


overall - zyg had the better idea, cause he created it. pancake had the better writing but lacked the length and depth of zyg. im going zygote


vote - zygger

[Frank]

Zyg - Topical league championship match up of netcees or running for the senate at the local political rally? Not much difference in terms of the magnitude surrounding this heavy weight match up. El pancakebrah tried to rope-a-dope the heavy weight effort and blatantly belittle his opponent before suffering an undoubtable knockout. Pancakebrah played possum in the middle of the ring to save face. The utter audacity of this one sided battle is almost comical really. Zyg wins across the board in every category possible with a Powerful chess move bumping pancake brah off the board in his 1 week reign with a 1 day verse.

Vote to Zygote for his impressive diction and effortless telling of hierarchy

[Split]

lmao, really enjoyed the debate style of battle. Pancake played it by ear, adopting a similar approach, and did beautifully with the ending part of the verse. Anti-factual. Disharmonious shit in quotes, as they always are. Zygote played better with the topic, even though you countered it in a similar way. I resent the constraints of imitation-brand objectivity.

Enjoyed both, thoroughly. Probably my two favorite writers in the league. Should've been a collab if Pancake expounded. I think Zygote took this by being so thorough, without being leveraged by Cake's economy of words.

V/ Zygote

[Just Write]

Lol this was a pretty entertaining battle on both ends but I honestly dont think cake put much effort into this. Had he actually tried I think this would have been a lot closer but as it stand I have zygote winning this with just a more entertaining and all around solid piece.

[patrown]

zygote -
Thinly-veiled rhetoric, promising you everything within his lengthy yarns.
Whereupon, you will find those vows to be merely an illusion,

^ pretty much every politician, ever.

For how is Democracy truly Democratic if only one can ever serve?

lead up to this. electoral vote is bullshit. this line is probably the crux.. even though i haven't read the rest.... i love that line.

liked how this one absorbed past rhymes and meaning and proved its own point..
Cast aside clever broadsweeping references and generalist messages.

sheep..

Nor will I question the electorate, for I believe in the Great Democratic Process.

oh so that was sarcastic?

Least not while a silver-tongued charlatan holds our most prestigious position.
It is my deepest conviction that in time the righteous take up their rightful place.
It has always been my endeavor to execute my lawful writing both in good time and in good faith.

you're kinda belittling in this piece but i love you for it...

I wish to provide every Aowlsivian with my simple attitude,
Before concluding, I once more simply ask of you -
What are the facts Mr. Pennock would have you all believe?
Good decentfolk, it is now the time to cast your vote for me.”
NO. fuck you. ok maybe. ;)
I like your take on the topic. your sarcastic, smart ass.. really grinds my gears. and thats cool with me. thank you for the effort. reached out to me.

pancake - you touched on some tones of your opponent here..
with a kip in his step. a toothy smile and history to forget
simply ‘the best’. I live a life as an homage
with no cause. a false symmetry for regret.
I write to find a feel. in a drunken state or sober
truncated. I write of summer days of old or

i enjoyed that obvious response..
aowlsvian set. worded so caustic, maudlin act it’s…
then..

Tell me your fucking thoughts,
because facts are such stubborn things.

honestly i don't feel like you did much aside from your opponent, but even a little less in comparison.
/v zygote for the more complete piece.

[big baby]

K--K-K-K-K-K-KNOCKOUTTTTTTTTTTTTTT.