Swedish crepe- not only do I feel you took the given topic and succeeded, I also believe you did a pretty good fucking job. You didn’t just manage to write about your character, you managed to control what he wrote next. It made me feel like I was reading a book inside of a book if that makes sense. I thought this was well executed and it reads smooth throughout as if effortlessly written. Both your diction and wording kept me interested.
Apple cranberry walnut- this feels, reads and looks like such a thought out put together piece and I think that because of how mechanical it seems to be, it throws me off just a bit. I’ve read so much from you before that I have not read too much from you in this league thus far. While your mechanics I don’t have to question, the way they were used here don’t feel forced but I feel as though I have to pause or break each time I read a fluent bar if that makes sense? However, that is mainly more at the beginning of your piece, after the start, everything flows a lot more natural and pretty darn flawless might I add. Your take on the topic was something I semi expected from anyone having been given the topic at hand, but your content and direction made it interesting.
Overall I have to give my vote to flapjack because I not only preferred the content of his piece, but I thought it was written with such finesse and I really enjoyed it.
|
04-28-2014, 02:32 AM
Threaded Mode