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Old 04-28-2014, 12:49 AM   #11
Split
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Smegma


Good quality of writing, but the story lacked depth. There wasn't much of a narrative thread leading things together other than the ending itself, like it was incredibly linear. The rhymes weren't anything to write home about but it was smooth and well worded.I think if you had written about a "general" way these things happen the execution would have been much better.

Lol. Got to the end of your verse. That's cool nvm. Nicely done twist. One note/ comment is that it didn't really add any perspective to the usual themes or ideas surrounding drug addiction. But you fooled me and I enjoyed rereading and understanding.



MW.


Cool straightforward crime verse. Good rhymes. Not boring, didn't try to be anything more than it was which was Cool. I read action/crime topicals and always think of Rawn telling me he never wrote about things that weren't badass lol.

Very tough call. Two opposing approaches done to similar levels of dopeness. I think I prefer Smegma's angle in general, but feel a little disappointed in the thinness of his verse's allegorical aspects. Mike Wrecks had an aesthetically pleasing verse that I enjoyed more despite the comparative simplicity.


V/ MW
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