911

[Fig]

This was actually a nice story. Gives some insight into the life and daily grind of a medic, cop or whoever it is. You really got a sense of how defeated this person felt. Really morose and depressing, but that kinda shit goes over well with me.

Some details seemed unnecessary, like the wiping of the ass, or the splashing of the puddle. And the transition from the narrator's commute to putting away his lunch and wiping his ass was non existent. It made me lol though because of how abrupt it was. I was like, gross.

I dozed off at the end. I think the part about him recognizing his mom's number for a second was nice, but I also think it would've been more effective and logical had it been his wife's number. Just saying

You have the mark of a storyteller, I believe. You just need to refine your craft.

Keep doin you