Week 4: King Ra. (1-2) vs. Mr. J (0-1) \\ King Ra. wins 5-0

[PancakeBrah]

Mr. J -

I didn't enjoy the ending two lines. You had written well up to that point but it seemed a bit cheap to end with something regarding text when the rest of your verse was dealing with serious issues.

"I got second place in the employee of the month award"

"another call from a collector I forgot about forgettin'..."

"second place still got me feeling like I'm in last place..."

Those were cool. Overall this was a solid, not spectacular, piece that got brought down a little by your ending strategy.

King Ra -

I thought the technical side of your writing was really tight and well paced. The internal dialogue was good and your wording was strong throughout. One of the better pieces I've read from you. I think I would've liked some connection (or more connection) between the verses but that's just my opinion. Worked fine w/o it.

Pretty good battle. I think King Ra was a bit more cohesive and wrote better this week. A slight upset to me.

v/King Ra