Week 3: Vulgar (2-0) vs. Adonis (2-0) \\ Vulgar wins 7-6

[sacrifice]

Adonis: This was a cool look inside the head of a mad man/socio/psychopath, and the inevitable reveal of the killing aspect was quite the climax. Some really subtle things used to help build to the conclusion; this fits the topic perfectly, because there are people on this planet with other beings inside their minds... perhaps manifested by the mind, perhaps not - I tend to be skeptical when it comes to spirituality and paranormality - nonetheless, in a lot of the piece it appears that the "voice in the head" if you will is constantly driving the character to kill, and each jab at society, with their religious overtones, are examples of causation, that thing that the character uses to justify his actions; or at least, his actions become in a vague sense justifiable under those conditions.

My favorite portion was the second to last section; the sense imagery here was very poignant, and it really helped this piece end with a bang. It's also cool because while there have been writings like this in various genres, this particular piece really does engage a different approach to the conclusion. The rhyming wasn't rapid-fire, but it wasn't sub-standard either, in fact, I appreciated the fact that it did rhyme, because it reads like its not supposed to.

One of the better efforts that I've had the pleasure to read by Adonis.

Vulgar: Man, this was not your best, and for a few objective reasons (I am partial to your writing for many reasons, thus...). I'll start with the ending, it definitely feels like you came back and finished up the verse after a break, or you were stuck trying to conclude, and thus it concluded abruptly and underwhelmingly. It didn't end with a comedic bang, which probably would have make this verse much better. Of course, you wrote it, so there are flashes of genius throughout, per usual. And per usual, I encountered a few over the top rhyme schemes that while sounding awkward, worked. You have a way with words, obviously. And despite the fictional nature of the dialogue between the narrator and the dragon, the content in the dialogue brought up a few arguments in the debate surrounding the drug culture. Because of that, the verse was deeper than it appears on the surface.

Man, I have to give this one to Adonis - because he impressed me. Vulgar, it happens, not every piece can be amazing, but even your stuff that may not be up to par is still always entertaining, interesting, funny (in this case), and profound (all the time).

Word.