Week 3: Just Write (2-0) vs. patrown (2-0) \\ Just Write wins 9-1

[King Ra.]

Just Write, you wrote a very long drawn out piece and while it was written fairly well, it has its bumps. The negative about your story, much of it was highly unnecessary. Particularly the mid sections. Your descriptions are precise but it just was unneeded information. You honestly could use the opening stanza and I believe the last two and would have a great piece, but the length hurt you here than helped. Past that your writing was great, great detail and the story was rounded off well, interesting ending. patrown, you took the same route as JW but I think you didn't do as great a job as he did. There were parts that were good, and your piece is pretty funny, comedic, but there were a lot of times it reads bumpy, the rhyming wasn't too fluent. Storywise it was a tad too out of place. Your direction I would say was better than JW, and you probably could have taken this with a more better written piece.

patrown had a better concept here, but he lacked in many areas. Despite JWs extremely long piece, he takes this one with the more well rounded story, and great use of detail/descriptions.

MVGT: Just Write.