Week 2: Mike Wrecka (1-0) vs. Vividlyvague (1-0) \\ Vividlyvague wins 6-5

[Certain]

in a fortress of solitude having delusional thoughts,
effectively imprisoned by an immovable force,
this vessel isn't special its a crucible lost ,
in time and space searching for a suitable torch,
to light the way off of this unusual course,
the pain of every day is a renewable source,
still hopeful, keeping all my cuticles crossed,
that no one needs to worry about my funerals cost,
counting down the days until my freedom arrives,
but how long can the spirit of a human being survive?,
trapped in a box, incapable of seeing the sky,
fighting hard to suppress all these demons inside,
and ive tried to go to sleep, but i just lay awake,
the loneliness is unbearable, there is no escape,
ive lost weight, literally wasting away,
I wish the good lord would just take me today,
the gravity of this situation is making me pray,
but I remain stuck, forever, in this casing betrayed,
my time is up but im still waiting, delayed,
im starting to get worried, shaking, afraid ,
i have pictures of my last family vacation displayed,
preventing me from falling apart when my patience is frayed,
but essentially I am still breaking, decayed ,
as I dwell in darkness forever facing the shade,
who did I piss off, where did I go wrong,
it feels like i have been in this confinement for so long,
haven't I suffered enough, I want out of this cell,
the torment im enduring is a repetitive hell,
punished for someone else's sins in this desolate shell,
as I linger, accompanied by a most prevalent smell,
so I begin to wonder, how long must this last,
the person that made these mistakes, only lives in the past,
why am I forced to pay, for that collision and crash,
yes he was drunk driving but im the one sitting, abashed,
want to be reborn , want to leave it all behind,
but me and my former self are still intertwined,
see this isn't my life story, this is my after life story,
cause my jail is a coffin and im laying in perpetual purgatory,
just wish I could cut ties, wish I could sever,
but this is where i will stay, always and forever ,

[timeless]

VV, didn’t enjoy this piece too much. Dialogue is for the most part, rather difficult to construct in verses, and I feel as though you fell off with it here like most do. You went from 1st person narrative to 3rd and left me confused quite a bit as to who was actually talking to who. Flow was way off, even after a couple of reads I still couldn’t connect to it aside from a bar or two. In relations to the topic, you came strong, and I dug the idea that you had, but it just didn’t appeal to me on a technical note.

MW, Just like VV’s verse, I didn’t really feel this one either man. The concept you chose to take on with the topic was dope, but I don’t think you gave it your full potential. The writing seemed rushed, which is odd for its length. Maybe not so much the writing but just how your story panned out.

I feel like if I explained anymore of MW’s verse, I would just be duplicating what I said about VV, so I’m not going to waste anymore time. Both pieces were equally enjoyable(imo, they were not.) Both verses as well had a dope concept but failed to execute a gripping story with it. The only one who I could say had an upper hand was Mike Wrecka with the flow/rhyme schemes/overall wordplay but still I’m going to vote on this based on the lines I felt were written the best, quotables if you must…

VividlyVague
” His mood a loose screw when the workbench is clear.”
” Moping, he grabbed the results notice, with a gulping throat.”

Mike Wrecka
” the pain of every day is a renewable source,”
” as I dwell in darkness forever facing the shade”

Ah fuck it, giving this to mike for having more of a sound verse.

V. Mike Wrecka