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#1 |
living
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 3,485
Battle Record: 33-18
Accomplishments - Hall of Fame
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primordial depth where lava lamps are nature derived molten magma. subterranean, the crater's alive swordfish dual at 7 sharp. that's 20 paces a side win or lose, the centrifuge replies. creating a tide waterworld. water colors washing watery portraits water molecules, water wings and water resorts there were giants, mighty giants. mythological forces built the water temple navi explored. but not anymore it waned the day my father died. lord of the sea sultan of stream, warship emperor, controlling regimes urchins and cuttlefish. green leaflets, algae and moss pre-prototypical. drafting Machiavellian laws iron fist, coral amethyst. a palace of gold my dad. the Elemental One who swam in the cove spanning globally, a balance, oceanic repose air in the bubble, fire in the belly, land in a row shallow and cold. waves overlapping. peak to plateau watched him decompose like glaciers into sparkling snow a giant, mighty giant. only one of his kind i was a blip, but a set of scales, floating awry it was time. a prophesy filled. duty, honor and will a kingdom fallen. merging with his counterpartners to build dark and still. pitch as night. seems their job was complete and to think, they did it all within the span of a week - pharaoh Aqua. Akhbar waterway, my lineage pure a set of sacrifices leading to your sense of assurance developmental evolution. live bacterial worms intermediate earth - tree trunks, amoeba and germs 4 twin brothers who always worked in conjunction heat, soil and oxygen in surface eruptions it was complete. they could unify. transcend the beyond giving way to existential theory centuries on i remember his expression as he looked at us all for the very first time. and he sang us a song his dialect was wavelength and molecular bond harmonizing hurricanes to make his kingdom dissolve it was freedom and loss. tragedy. the birth of a star before he turned to stone, my father took a seed in his palm raised it past the breaking point from under the sea so his brothers could see. Life where there was nothing, believe below a hundred degrees, synergistic alignment King Triton's monument island, before existence was science they were giants, mighty giants. the creators, the myth architects and artists. palm trees, temperature shifts for all their kids. we swim along and savor today waiting patiently until it's washed away .. DEADMAN
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Zack Wicks for president |
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#2 |
past tense
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: NJ
Posts: 1,623
Battle Record: 22-39
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Lars, your display of detail towards the evolution idea of life itself transitioning to the human era from beginning to end was dope. I enjoyed this piece a lot. Don’t really have any complaints with it, I would mention a couple rhyme schemes but it’s not really significant. No filler to point out, everything seemed relevant. This was dope man, not much else to say.
Dead, your wordplay is one of the best I’ve ever seen, I’m sure that has been said to you many of times so I’ll spare it. As for your approach to the topic, it was really complex. As close as an interpretation I would have of this would be That the mythical gods of the sea created this island as a type of church for themselves. A type of beta test before Earth was constructed by it’s creators. I must’ve read this 4 times over, trying to put more pieces together. lol For me personally, I have to vote on who had the more enjoyable read in my eyes. Content wise, they were equal. Wordplay, flow, approach to the topic, etc. All equal imo. I just feel more satisfied after reading Lars verse, it told a complete, intricate tale of the building blocks of life, and didn’t really leave me hanging or any questions to be answered. Black had a more intricate verse than lars, which could go either way in the voter’s perception, depending on what you initially get out of it after a complete read. Dope battle here though with two great verses to send it off. V.Lars |
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