ROUND ONE: (1)dead man vs. (32)breathless - (DEAD MAN WINS 5-0)

zygote · 01-16-2014, 09:15 AM

breathless, focusing mainly on the actual act in the picture rather than the background details. Some cool switch up parts, initially thought it was going to be just a straight story about bullying or something, but then it turned into kind of a 'fight against my own ego' type of thing. Pretty good, simple narration fit well with the journal entry style of the writing. Kind of like you saw the picture and it jogged your memory, whether fabricated or not, it was still interesting.

dead man, focusing on the background aspects, the language was crafted to heavily reflect the ethnicity of the individuals in the image. I liked the names of the characters and the use of Ma and Pa. The story itself was kind of a Cain and Abel biblical story with a central Asian steppe setting. Enjoyed the nameless character 'the assassin in blue' - I think the blue color was deliberate to describe a kind of Tengri version of the grim reaper. The recurring interplay between food and life, then turning into food and death at the end was also powerful. Voting for dead man.

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01-16-2014, 09:15 AM	#1
zygote Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 501 Battle Record: 33-12 Accomplishments - OM HOF (2x) Champed - Art of Writing League (3x) Rep Power: 737828	breathless, focusing mainly on the actual act in the picture rather than the background details. Some cool switch up parts, initially thought it was going to be just a straight story about bullying or something, but then it turned into kind of a 'fight against my own ego' type of thing. Pretty good, simple narration fit well with the journal entry style of the writing. Kind of like you saw the picture and it jogged your memory, whether fabricated or not, it was still interesting. dead man, focusing on the background aspects, the language was crafted to heavily reflect the ethnicity of the individuals in the image. I liked the names of the characters and the use of Ma and Pa. The story itself was kind of a Cain and Abel biblical story with a central Asian steppe setting. Enjoyed the nameless character 'the assassin in blue' - I think the blue color was deliberate to describe a kind of Tengri version of the grim reaper. The recurring interplay between food and life, then turning into food and death at the end was also powerful. Voting for dead man.