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01-14-2014, 08:00 PM
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#5 |
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White Earl
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Philly Cat.
Posts: 12,354
Battle Record: 10-15
Accomplishments - Open Mic HOF (4x)
Champed - Netcees Writers League
- Write Week I
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needs a twist on it man. the emotion is there... but its very bland writing. something is missing -needs more wit and some wordplay IMO. but this could be a very promising verse if you tweaked it a little man. enjoyed it for the realness it holds
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