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Old 01-08-2014, 12:49 AM   #8
dead man
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Join Date: Jan 2013
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dead man has a brilliant futuredead man has a brilliant futuredead man has a brilliant futuredead man has a brilliant futuredead man has a brilliant futuredead man has a brilliant futuredead man has a brilliant futuredead man has a brilliant futuredead man has a brilliant futuredead man has a brilliant futuredead man has a brilliant future
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The blue sky offers little shelter from the resident taskforce,
OR the elements; fast-forward
To travel time is elementary. Blackboards are backward,

muse over Time. Regardless, our gift is mortality,
Thus clock watching’s a hideous construct, more candidly:

eng i always read your works multiple times before daring to make a comment. this time was no different. i sensed many layers but drew out two central concepts - one being the psyche of the graffiti artist, and two being the atmospheric effects of aerosols. i saw a ceiling of ruined o-zone and a plant growing inside a greenhouse gas.

i think you could improve your scenery. to that end, i want to see the concrete scars. i need brickyards and chrome tracks. i mean the way a person digests any verse is more an individual process than a shared experience but i stay in a place in which this is something is deeply ingrained in our cultural expressiveness.

you have the ability to hammer in one-liners with powerful phrasing but your downfall is the lack of continuity of that wattage. you have contained your tendency to be overly verbose and for this i thank you. i liked this piece and was truly happy to see you post something full and fleshed out. you have many more of these in you, its all about surrounding yourself with inspiring people, places and things. read, watch, speak. you have a thousand stories to tell.

thanks eng. ill keep an eye out



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