Pollutant

Vulgar · 01-05-2014, 07:11 PM

The city itself is a pollutant, but law enforcement is all about suppressing the graffiti artist of Metropolis A. I can dig the message. The writing was all over the place for me. I can't get comfortable with your style for odd reasons. Your grammar is meticulous so I try not to second guess it, but your diction isn't flawless and is often characterized by awkward wording. It stifles momentum. It brings British schoolchildren to their knees. It made Semmy Schilt's back itch him for 6 days straight.

And muse over Time. Regardless, our gift is mortality,
Thus clock watching’s a hideous construct, more candidly:
The cities upon dust that we live upon just impact
Concrete scars,
^This was the significant point of the piece where it made connections. I wonder if longer bars would be an interesting change for your style. Maybe it's a pet peeve I have with sudden line breaks blooming with Windsor phrase, I dunno.

Keepitup, thanks for peeping my work.

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01-05-2014, 07:11 PM	#1
Vulgar Razor-thin derision Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 4,422 Battle Record: 40-25 Accomplishments - OM HOF Champed - Fight Night LIV - Gimmick Battle League (2x) - Write Week II - Art of Writing League - Storytelling And Topical Invitational Tournament - STI - Haiku Writer Challenge - GWL Picture Challenge(2x) Rep Power: 49604320	The city itself is a pollutant, but law enforcement is all about suppressing the graffiti artist of Metropolis A. I can dig the message. The writing was all over the place for me. I can't get comfortable with your style for odd reasons. Your grammar is meticulous so I try not to second guess it, but your diction isn't flawless and is often characterized by awkward wording. It stifles momentum. It brings British schoolchildren to their knees. It made Semmy Schilt's back itch him for 6 days straight. And muse over Time. Regardless, our gift is mortality, Thus clock watching’s a hideous construct, more candidly: The cities upon dust that we live upon just impact Concrete scars, ^This was the significant point of the piece where it made connections. I wonder if longer bars would be an interesting change for your style. Maybe it's a pet peeve I have with sudden line breaks blooming with Windsor phrase, I dunno. Keepitup, thanks for peeping my work.