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01-01-2014, 10:14 PM
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#3 |
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( ͡º ͜ʖ ͡º)
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 3,868
Battle Record: 17-32
Rep Power: 52474192   |
Thought the first two lines were dope as fuck, then it kinda fell off after that. The flow was choppy at times, words not really rhyming and the closing line is stretched. The ideas, and the piece itself, got potential. Just need some polishing.
When it comes to the stuff it seems like you're dealing with; I wish you the absolute best of luck with that, and I hope things get better for you.
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I'm not a slave for entertainment, I'm entertainments personal slave,
So deep into writing I'm concerned bout the text on my grave. www.youtube.com/watch?v=gV8ozGcGJ6o |
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