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#1 | |
Razor-thin derision
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 4,422
Battle Record: 40-25
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I didn't mind that you joined as an alias and attempted something original. Have as much fun with being an "avatar" on the internet, if you will. Expand on your inner self to the fullest and share it with others in anonymity on the web sphere, in peace. You are going in the right direction, in my opinion.
this conviction thrills the psych wards ragamuffin'. ^Lol. I thought this was humorous for some reason. Mostly because I haven't heard or read the word 'ragamuffin' in 5+ years. Your topical writing ranges from average to provocative. I think that this can be attributed to you not reading enough books. One of the root causes of this is, for example, that you repeat words and take obvious routes when writing. I'm going to bold what I'm indicating: Quote:
Keep doing you |
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#2 |
( ͡º ͜ʖ ͡º)
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 3,868
Battle Record: 17-32
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@Vulgar: Word. I actually usually pay notice to these sort of things, but I completely disregarded it in this case. And for that I take full responsibility when it comes to repetition of words. It's kinda extremely basic so I realize I failed quite a bit on this text. Going to feed a few drops and post something soon I would appreciate a lot if you took a look at.
Your words definitely helped, I read your feed when you first posted it but I haven't replied until I now. I obviously needed a repetition of this kind of kind of feedback and have paid closer attention to it now which hopefully shows in the piece I'm about to drop. Thanks a lot for the thorough feedback! And thanks to all for checking it out and leaving some words.
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I'm not a slave for entertainment, I'm entertainments personal slave,
So deep into writing I'm concerned bout the text on my grave. www.youtube.com/watch?v=gV8ozGcGJ6o |
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