WK2: Zenland (1-0) VS. zygote (0-0) [ZYGOTE WINS, 6-1.]

Pent uP · 02-25-2013, 09:29 AM

Zygote, this was a great outline for writing given in flow. You broke down various ideas on taking the topic and they weren't all bad... you went on and just explored the thoughts you had on the picture and even gave expanations on why not to do any of them, which is a good sense of self awareness which was another topical reference you made. This was a pretty smooth read and with a refreshing viw to a strange pic topic.

Zenland, the start of your verse seemed on point, the flow was cool and it seemed to be going somewhere withing topic. As it continued though, the details got stale and the flow started to suffer as well. Was lacking consistentcy and needed a better topical direction. Some different and interesting details would of made it a better and more smoother read. The verse was basically built on character development, but the character that you developed just wasn't interesting to read about.

Vote zygote

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Switch to Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Threaded Mode

02-25-2013, 09:29 AM	#12
Pent uP Robin Williams of Fallen Victims Join Date: Feb 2013 Posts: 1,499 Battle Record: 25-11 Accomplishments - NC Hall of Fame Champed - Netcees Writers League (2x) - NWL Season 1 - Write Night I - Art of Writing League (2x) - Write Week IV Rep Power: 6862275	Zygote, this was a great outline for writing given in flow. You broke down various ideas on taking the topic and they weren't all bad... you went on and just explored the thoughts you had on the picture and even gave expanations on why not to do any of them, which is a good sense of self awareness which was another topical reference you made. This was a pretty smooth read and with a refreshing viw to a strange pic topic. Zenland, the start of your verse seemed on point, the flow was cool and it seemed to be going somewhere withing topic. As it continued though, the details got stale and the flow started to suffer as well. Was lacking consistentcy and needed a better topical direction. Some different and interesting details would of made it a better and more smoother read. The verse was basically built on character development, but the character that you developed just wasn't interesting to read about. Vote zygote