Week 8 - Chat and Predictions

[PancakeBrah]

im pretty buzzed. my max right now is 290. all time max is 350.
@Certain I'll do power ranks.

[NYCSPITZ]

cool was the 350 ass to grass be real

[PancakeBrah]

My squat depth makes yours look like quarter squats brah.

I'm a full ROM kind of guy.

[NYCSPITZ]

ur talking to a man who dekes the fuck out of former NCAA ice hockey players regularly in his beer league...i don't want my legs to look like tree trunks it would make my dick to leg proportions too weird but yea my max is 315x7 ATG prob 315x1-3 now pitiful by hockey standards but great for nyc standards nobody works their legs here

[PancakeBrah]

that's legit if srs. if u can put three plates up for a below parallel rep you're good. hockey is for hipster sport fans. i would beat you in handball and basketball off pure strength and athleticism.

[NYCSPITZ]

lol u play gay handball i play real city handball. would win 21-0 against u. it's hitting a rubber ball against a wall with your bare hand. sort of like tennis but with a wall

[NYCSPITZ]

pardon? hockey requires less athleticism than b-ball? what? hockey is dope af stop. i'd beat u w my jumpshot alone pm when u get to ny eventually i'll school u

[PancakeBrah]

brah i don't even know what handball is. i just understand that it involves a surface, a wall most likely, a ball, angles, and points. my inherent intelligence paired with my strength level results in the odds being in my favor, regardless of your experience.

[NYCSPITZ]

smh...

[NYCSPITZ]

i played w dudes whoe got drafted in both baseball and ice hockey. no way in hell you're seeing me in nyc handball or even montana handball

also played vs top handball players in NYC (mecca of real big blue handball)

[Certain]

Handball is the only sport middle-aged Jewish men can dominate.

[PancakeBrah]

There's a professional handball league!? Please give me a stream to one of their matches. My cable provider does not provide Fox Sports 7.

I can't imagine the level of athleticism of professional handballers. Without prior knowledge i would think they are 1/2 the athletes that professional Field Hockey players are.

[NYCSPITZ]

lol not the handball ur thinking of. it's a concrete waLL played with a rubber blue ball the size of a teen's palm. The top players run and dive on concrete picking up 70mph shots 1 inch off the floor regularly. They are far more athletic than any of you. google big blue handball that's what i'm talkin aboutr

[NYCSPITZ]

all 4 of these men would leave u on zero every time. For the record, 21- 25 points is necessary for a win and you wouldn't get 1 point on them even with a year of hard training. This is doubles. In singles it'd be even worse. The youtube is a bad simulacrum of the real thing btw bc they are all way more athletic than any of u

[PancakeBrah]

want 2 rassle?

edit-

just watched the video. what a poverty sport. none of those bros can compete with prime-era cake in terms of strength and endurance. speed probably.

shit is just a hand-eye coordination and experience sport. meh.

[NYCSPITZ]

SURE

[PancakeBrah]

Everything I said was correct. I await your rebuttal.

WHAT ROUND DID THE BLACK DUDE GET DRAFTED IN THE ANNUAL HANDBALL DRAFT NYC!? WHAT ROUND!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!

You know how baseball players who get drafted in the MLB can choose between joining the team or going back to school to get drafted later? People who get drafted into the Handball league must decide between going pro or continuing to bag groceries/being mid level drug dealers. Most choose the latter.

[NYCSPITZ]

lol cake sports aren't predicated on strength alone. gretzky was the weakest on the ice but scored more than everyone all the time. Everyone in that handball vid is at least 16x better than me and I'd beat u 21-0 every time guaranteed.

[NYCSPITZ]

Originally Posted by PancakeBrah

Everything I said was correct. I await your rebuttal.

WHAT ROUND DID THE BLACK DUDE GET DRAFTED IN THE ANNUAL HANDBALL DRAFT NYC!? WHAT ROUND!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!

You know how baseball players who get drafted in the MLB can choose between joining the team or going back to school to get drafted later? People who get drafted into the Handball league must decide between going pro or continuing to bag groceries/being mid level drug dealers. Most choose the latter.

lol there is no handball draft as u know. I played baseball with a kid who threw 84 @ 14 y/o though. My arm is strong I throw in the 80s. I'd beat u at throwing. I played with pro baseball, handball, ice hockey and lacrosse players in youth. I know what i'm saying. You lose in any of those sports to me

[PancakeBrah]

You're shifting goalposts right now.

I suggest we hold a Cake v. NYC decathalon.

1. Handball
2. Hockey
3. Basketball
4. Powerlift
5. Half-marathon
6. MMA Match
7. Arm Wrestling
8. Discus
9. Long Jump
10. Discussion/Boarding

My prediction: You win the first three. Plus long jump. You lose, by a wide margin, in the other six.

Afterwards I give you a firm and hearty handshake with sincere eye contact that speaks "You're a worthy competitor; but don't ever get uppity again." We then dominate all of the bars in your lower-middle class part of New York, with the obvious end game being impregnating all races of women.